Light my fire. (Steddie)

Chapter 10

Eddie awoke to the sound of screams echoing throughout the house. They were strained, coarse and desperate, enough to make anybody run from the house the moment they heard it but Eddie recognised it all too well. It was the same screams he had woken himself up with.

"Hey! Hey!.. shhhh you're okay.." he hushed Steve as he hurried to the side of the bed to hold him still from the relentless tossing and turning of the man still asleep, stuck in his nightmare.
He watched as Steve's face slowly unclenched from its twisted expression, his breathing becoming steady again as Eddie held the him in his arms tightly, releasing a breath he didn't know he had held himself.
Waiting until he was sure the other man was settled before trying to remove himself from the cuddle but only finding that in doing so, the sleeping boy pushed himself further into their embrace.

Eddie's body tensing reactively, holding it for a second before excepting his fate and relaxing into the embrace as he slid down into the bed, thankful he had chosen to wear the T-shirt provided and underwear.
His head still fuzzy from earlier as the room spun even with his eyes rolling shut as he crept back into sleep, his arm draped loosely around the man.

The warmth of the blinding sunlight creeping in through the windows, filling the room with comfort and ease. It was short lived though as Steve opened his eyes to find the predicament he was in, his body being cradled, protected by the other man. He shifted out of the bed not wanting to wake the sleeping boy out of kindness but also didn't want him to see the look of terror on Steve's face.
He was conflicted in his own thoughts, he knew by the cold sweat on his forehead, the ragged soreness in the back of his throat that he'd had a nightmare. It was comforting knowing that Eddie had come to soothe him but the internal demons that told him that he shouldn't desire the touch of another man overcame him.
He felt dirty, desperate to wash the warm touch of embrace off of him before anyone saw and so he headed to the cleansing shower in the hope it would make himself feel better.

The massaging fingertips on his scalp sent him into a blissful trance but his mind wandered slowly into imaging it was someone else fingers working their magic, rougher and calloused.
He shook the thoughts quickly away as he continued with his routine, submerging his head further into the stream of water.

Steve couldn't hear the keys turning in the front door followed by a loud slam but Eddie did. It woke him suddenly, jolting his eyes wide as he scrambled confused at the emptiness of the bed mixed with the commotion happening downstairs.

"Steve!" A male voice hounded from downstairs.
It was a voice Eddie didn't recognise, he sat frozen unsure of what to do.
The voice called again, getting louder and more impatient.
Eddie breathing hitched as he rushed to the bathroom door praying that the running water was where Steve was.
"Steve Harrington you will answer me when I call for you!" The voice bellowed, getting closer as did the sound of footsteps up the staircase.
"Steve please! You need to come!" Eddie panicked opening the door to the bathroom, keeping his eyes peeled on the bedroom door.
"Dude what the hell-" he was cut short by the asserting voice calling out once more.

"Steve! Where.. what in the devils name is happening here?!"
The sight of the man stood tall in the doorway, his face red with anger made Eddie cower like a child. He had no control of the reaction but the memories of his own father activated his fight or flight but like when he was younger he stood frozen, his knee's threatening to buckle under the weight of his fear.
His eyes darting to Steve in the hope to gain some of his confidence only to find as much fear in the other boys eyes as he stood nervously in the doorway in just a towel wrapped quickly around his waist, his hair still dripping wet down onto his shoulders.

"Dad! What.. what are you doing here?" Steve rushed. His eyes pinned on the older man.
"Well I live here don't I?" The man was hot with anger, not hesitating on the level of snark in his tone.
Had this been any other situation, Steve would of muttered back something about him hardly living there.
"Your mother and I thought we'd come back to see our son only to find out he's been using my house as a whorehouse like a little faggot!" He belted, the veins at his temple pulsing.
Steve was stuttering manically as he tried grasping for a response.
"Get out!" Eddie's heart dropped as the man now stared at him, his eyes piercing straight through Eddie's own.
"Dad please! It's not like that! He's just a friend! He slept in the guest room! I'm not a fag and I never would be!" Steve pleaded, grasping for any sign of his father believing him.
Eddie's heart dropped as he shimmered past the man who stood holding his ground in the doorway, not giving the younger man much room to move past.
"My son is not a fairy. If I see you ever again.. you will regret the day you were born." He snarled into Eddie's ear, not letting him pass until he was finished.

He hurried to the front door nearly tripping on his undone shoelaces, just in time to hear Steve shout back about hating fags in defence to his fathers words. Had he been a moment slower, he would of heard the sound of skin connecting with Steve's face.

The fear quickly turned to anger and shame as he sped home. Tears spilling over his cheeks, clouding his vision making it a miracle he got back to dingy trailer park in one piece. He was pretty sure he'd sped past a cop car but at this point he didn't care. Nothing could make him care more than the heart break he felt in his chest, tightening with every breath that sobbed its way up through his mouth.
He felt so stupid and worthless from ever having a glimpse hope of trust in the man.
The words of his own father telling him how worthless he was before leaving and never coming back were running through his mind, taunting him and his never ending misfortune.

"Eddie is that you?" Wayne called out as the slamming of the door, shook the whole trailer followed by the clinking of bottles.
It had escaped his realisation that due to it being early morning, that his uncle would be home after his night shift. He quickly wiped his free hand across his face frantically trying to hide the evidence of crying.
"Yeah.. yeah it's me" he called out unsteadily.
"Are you okay son? You sound unwell." Eddie could hear the worry in his voice.
He rubbed his face once more before popping his head around the doorframe of his uncles room, skilfully keeping the bottles of alcohol out of sight.

It's not like he hadn't seen Eddie drunk before but this was different. This wasn't Eddie coming home from a gathering drunk, this was a why are you drinking alone till you pass out, do I need to worry about you type drunk and that was a conversation that if he can avoid, he will try his hardest to.

"I think I've just um picked up the flu slightly.." he lied but it was enough to satisfy his uncle as he watched him drift back into sleep before scampering to his own room.

He closed the door quietly before shoving his fist into his mouth, biting down as he screamed into it, hoping his hand would muffle it enough.
Screaming and sobbing until there was nothing left as he curled up in his bed, hidden away under the layers of blankets and sheets. He prayed they would swallow him whole and spit him out in a new, better world almost like the upside down but instead of monsters and death, he just got to start again in a more inviting universe.
As his tears dried up, refusing to produce anymore, his face relaxed. It was like his brain had decided it had enough emotion and flicked the off button to Eddie's whole body and mind.
Numbness was all he felt. The last hope of caring died along side his wishful thinking that he was worth anything to the world alive or dead.