Saverio

Part 22 - Pleased

HONOR MAEVE

It's so pretty on me.

I look like the princess I once dreamt to be.

I look like the person my mother wanted me to be.

I look like the person I grew up thinking I'd be.

Nothing has ever looked so amazing on me.

In some areas I'm mad that Matteo kept it from me.

It really would have helped me mentally.

But I'm glad he kept it. It means a lot more to me now. Especially since his death.

I really did like Saverio. But in some situations he messed up so badly with the things he's done to me.

He raped me.

Killed my brother.

Leaves me continuously without hesitation after fucking me.

But he is still the father of my child.

The person that I really god to know and appreciate.

And with everything awful that he has done. I'm not the person to then kiss his best friend.

Even with the feelings that move through my mind.

That's why I'm ok with Alec not being sorry for almost kissing me last night.

I decided to eat the pizza and leave half on a plate for Alec.

I went to bed and proceeded to process everything in my life.

My routine at night is to do this.

I wonder when it'll stop. I really need it to stop.

The pain always appears to me a night. It's the most painful time.

I don't tell Alec. He's done so much for me already, I just couldn't.

Well I thought he never knew about my nights of pain.

Until he came into my room last night, fully dressed, shoes on.

He walked towards my bag of clothes, picking out a gym wear set and trainers.

He himself seems ready to workout.

I'm not going to the gym.

It's late.

He throws them all to me, walking towards the door to exit.

"Get changed, we're going out" he demands

"But-

The doors now shut.

Confusion fill me. So does my need for sleep.

I check my phone, seeing the time of two am.

Seriously Alec!

I look at my latest messages, seeing a few from my work but I chose to ignore them.

That's when I see a longer message sent to Saverio.

From me?

I read it. Three times.

Unbelief fills me, but thankfulness also appears.

I wish he told me. But fair enough. I fucking need him.

I can tell this was from a few days ago. He wouldn't send something like this now.

I chose to ignore it and continue with getting changed.