Saverio

Part 33 - Past

Thank you to @cyb3rdnyo for this chapter's suggestion. Hope you all enjoy it!!

SAVERIO ENZO
*5 months ago*

I still can't comprehend words.

It's been five entire months without Honor and it's breaks me.

Five entire months for me to hurt.

But I feel like I deserve this.

I treated her like shit.

I was the reason she left angry.

I did so many bad things to her. Why would she ever forgive me.

If she knew, then I know there would be no hope for us.

It would hurt her too much.

In fact, it would hurt me too much to see her forgive a rapist.

I couldn't do it.

But I still love her.

I still go every day to the hospital to check up on her.

I've never missed a day.

Alec sometimes comes. But I think he secretly goes alone sometimes.

It concerns me, but I know they had some sort of good relationship.

The doctors insured me that there is only a 10% survival rate. That i should take great consideration in unplugging her life support.

But I would never do that.

I still have hope she'll one day awaken. Even if it takes years of waiting.

I will always wait for her.

Even if she wakes up to never want to see me again.

Being able to talk to her for one last time is better than anything.

Since the last time I talked to her was an argument.

I could never end things off with us like that.

We both need peace.

I've been sat on the chair besides her for a while now.

I keep thinking of all the possible ways I could show my love for her.

Even if it's silent and she isn't aware of it. I'm doing it for her.

I've already donated two million dollars to the hospital for other people who are in the same situation as Honor but can't financially afford health care, to show my thanks for the treatments they've been doing on her.

They greatly appreciated it and offered to do anything for their great thanks. But I insisted they just accept the offer and continue doing their great work.

But this can't be it.

Spending money on others isn't going to make Honor forgive me.

Or appreciate me.

So the best thing I can do for now is just be there for her.

Even if it means no longer going to work. Being in the mafia has been my entire life.

I've always worked for them.

But I'm trying to minimise my hours for her.

I even got another job.

It's embarrassing and I don't need it, but I'm doing this for her.

So I can be normal.

Not a murderer, not a rapist, or even hell itself.

I want to be good for her.

But it's taking much damn time to become that for her.

I've never loved anyone like I have for her.

And I still have hope.

My first sign of hope was today.

I was pacing around the room, and suddenly she started flinching.

She didn't open her eyes or say anything.

It just seemed as if she was in some sort of dream.

Or nightmare.

I hope it's a dream. A good one.

Hopefully I'm the good guy.

I ran straight over to her and tried to awaken her but nothing worked.

She wouldn't wake up.

She was still in the damn coma.

It broke me so damn much.

I just fell to my knees and cried into the sheets.

That's the first time I've ever cried aloud.

I showed more weakness than ever before.

I let it all out. All of my emotions.

I'm let out all the pain and damage.

I held her the entire time. I imagined how life would have been like if I was a better person and she was still here.

But that could never happen.

Because I've never never been the good guy. I've always been the monster of the story.

I was on my knees for a while, pain consumed me.

It ached when I rose but I immediately knew that I couldn't just let this go on for any longer.

I rang Alec and asked him to come over.

I told him everything that had happened and he seemed excited and emotional.

That's the first time I had ever seen him care so much about a girl.

It confused me. But I accepted it and let him see his best friend.

That's the first time he hugged me, and I hugged him back.

We've been best friends for around twenty years and I always hid away from Alec.

I never wanted to show weakness to him.

But now that I have.

I think he saw a different side in me.

He didn't want to admit it but he did.

I'm so fucking glad.

He pulled away from me, hands on my shoulders.

He stood there and smiled at me for a moment.

ALEC BRUADI

This is it.

As much as I want to say that Honor and me could one day have a chance.

I can see the change she's put in Saverio.

Even if it's only been a few weeks.

From appearance, Saverio seems cold hearted, unwelcoming and manipulative.

He used to be those things in the heart as well.

But now he's full of hope, and love.

He wants to be with this girl so damn much.

So I'll do whatever I can do help him out.

He's my big brother after all.

Not by blood.

But by heart.