Saverio

Part 25 - Sweet

HONOR MAEVE

*8 months later*

Its time.

It's time for my life to turn over. For my life to become something else.

I don't know what to expect.

Will this be a blessing? Or an open gate to hell?

I fear what the future holds for me now.

My past has been shit so far, so maybe I'll end up having a stillbirth. Or maybe the baby won't live long on earth.

All these possibilities and non of them are to what happens.

She's beautiful.

More beautiful than the sky on the beach of Bahamas.

More beautiful than the life I know to live in.

She looks exactly like him. Her eyes are the same shade as his. Her lips are as big and pink as his gorgeous lips.

She has tiny glimpses of hair. Which are of the shade brown.

Just like both her mommy and daddy.

She held in my arms, skins to skin.

She's smoother than two wool sheep put together.

Tears fall down my face.

She's the only part of Saverio I have left.

I've been trying to collect myself during these eight months.

Trying to pick myself back up, and find the good parts about me.

The first two months were hard. Memories kept growing in my mind of all the things that had happened in my life so far.

I cut myself once again. It wasn't until Alec decided to get me a therapist.

She didn't last long, I'm sure she was an addict herself.

Instead Alec took care of me.

He fed me like I hadn't eaten in months. Which I didn't.

I stopped eating quickly after I found Saverios body.

I was losing fat quickly and by Alec's words, you could almost see my bones.

He went out shopping for me and bought me loads of clothes. Telling me that I deserve it all.

I laughed.

It was funny to me.

He made me laugh. That was the first time in months for me.

We both decided it would be best to leave. That this whole holiday planned has become the nightmare we didn't need.

So we took a plane back to La and settled in properly this time.

He found me a job, but I quickly got fired when I didn't come on my shifts. Alec gave up finding me another until I was mentally, emotionally and physically stable.

But it's a bit too late for that now. I'm on maternity leave.

He offered to either buy me a two bedroom apartment or to live with him. That decision took beyond and uncomfortable time but I decided I'd go up and beyond and move in with Alec.

I felt more comfortable in my own room. Just for a short while. I know me and Alec have become publicly official but I'm still not stable with what's happened.

It's hard for me to get used to a life I never once had. Especially with the past.

I listened to Saverio. I was in need of someone else's comfort.