Herondales love but once

chapter 1

Tess. Tess. Tess. Tessa's name rang in his mind like a bell. She was sat right beside him in the carriage wearing a beautiful pewter-grey dress made from a luxurious silk. The silver buttons that trimmed her dress glittered, which brought out her stormy grey eyes. He couldn't believe that he had ever thought of her fascinating eyes as dull; he could lose himself in them for hours. Tessa caught him staring at her. Flashing a sweet smile at her, Tessa's brow furrowed in confusion. But Will didn't notice as he had already ducked his head down, tapping his fingers against himself. Every minute that was passing, dragged on agonizingly slow and he was so lost in thought, that he didn't notice when they reached the towering building of the Institute, something he had come to think of as home over the years. The carriage came to a halt and his head snapped up.

Drenched but still smiling, Cyril came and opened the doors to the carriage. Honestly, nothing could dampen his spirits, not even the English weather. He helped Charlotte out and then Tessa and Will leaped out narrowly missing the puddle. Thank the Angel, the rainfall had paused. Will glanced up. The sun was peeking out from behind a heavy cloud and shining. Even God was favouring him today after his years of suffering.

He was keenly aware of Tessa's gaze on him. Taking hold of her arm, he guided he towards the front door of the Institute. "Come along," he whispered.

She glanced back at Charlotte and Gideon in conversation. "We ought to wait for them, oughtn't we ––" Tessa started.

In a determined manner, Will shook his head. "Charlotte will be blathering at him for ages about what room he wants to stay in, and how grateful she is for his help, and all I want is to talk to you."

He noticed Tessa staring yet again as they entered the Institute, but he didn't mind. Now that he knew there was no curse on him, it seemed as though a great burden had been lifted off his shoulders. Finally, he could express his affection to her without the terror of her death – the agony that it would cause him. Just thinking about the hopeful future put a slight spring into his step.

"I can't wait to tell Jem about our meeting," Will said as they climbed the mahogany stairs. "He'll never believe that scene - for Gideon to turn on his father like that! It's one thing to tell secrets to Sophie, another to renounce your whole allegiance to your family. Yet he cast away his family ring."

They turned at the top of the stairs and made their way down the corridor. "Gideon's in love with Sophie. People will do anything for love." Tessa said.

It was true though; he would do anything for Tessa – anything. A thought seized him. Was she talking about him? Would she do anything for him? He suddenly became acutely aware of his gloved hand on Tessa's arm. He gave her a tentative but sweet smile. "Amazing, isn't it?"

She opened her mouth as if to speak but they had reached the drawing room. The room was dazzlingly bright. The luminous witchlight torches were up high and the fire was burning as fiercely as Will's love for Tessa. The extravagant curtains were drawn back, revealing hectares of patchy sky. On a gorgeous Moroccan table, Tessa gently drew off her gloves and set them down. Will entered in the room behind her and drew the bolt closed on the door. Tessa frowned and blinked. "Will, why are you locking ––"

Rushing towards her, Will caught her in an embrace and stopped her midsentence. Taken by surprise, she gasped as he took her by the arms, walking her backwards. They half-collided with the wall and all Will could think about was how perfect she seemed in his arms.

In surprise, she said, "Will," but it was too late; he was already pinning her to the wall with his body against hers and an uncontrollable desire rushed through him. He was sliding his hands up her shoulders, every inch of her flawless, and into her damp and curling locks, his mouth sudden and hot on hers. She responded back to him; her lips were soft and pliant. Her body arched against him, and he was able to feel the entirety of her body. She tasted like rain. If he kept kissing her like this, the ounces of self-control that he had left would evaporate away. His mouth moved urgently on hers, feeling her response. He drowned in the kiss. Heat spread through the pit of his stomach like roots within the soil. She was his anchor in life.

Tessa's slender hands lay flat on his chest yanking him back to the surface of the water. She shoved him with such an unexpected force that Will broke away in shock yet remained in close contact with her. He was running through several things to say when her breath came rushing out in a fierce sigh. "No."

He took a step away from her. Did she not want him? A tense moment of silence passed between them as neither of them spoke. Will could not bring himself to speak lest he say something hurtful. Years of habit were hard to break. He took a deep breath and attempted to keep his voice even, yet he failed. When Will replied, his voice was husky and broke in anguish. "But last night? In the infirmary? I, you embraced me-"

"I..." Tessa, whose words never failed her, was lost for words. "I thought I was dreaming..."

Will could feel a crack spreading through his hopes, clawing at his heart. The drowning desire he was feeling earlier was shoved aside, giving way to his hurt and bewilderment.: "But even today. I thought you said you were as eager to be alone with me as I was," he stuttered.

"I imagined you wanted an apology! You saved my life at the tea warehouse, and I am grateful, Will. I thought you wanted me to tell you that."

It felt as though Tessa had just slapped him. She didn't think that, did she? "I didn't save your life so you'd be grateful!" 

"Then, what?" Tessa's voice grew louder. The voice that he loved with all of his heart was causing him so much pain. "You did it because it's your mandate? Because the Law says–"

In retaliation, his voice too rose. "I did it because I love you!" He noticed her shocked expression, she looked as if she had been told she was a shadowhunter and so continued in a gentler manner, "I love you, Tessa, and I have loved you, almost since the moment I met you."