Before My Withering [枯萎之前]

Chapter 35

[Do you remember, the summer memory]

I still pushed him away.

I have never been loved. I was terrified.

You didn't need to think about it to realize how mortified I felt right now. I remained there in a trance, tears flowing down my cheeks like a broken faucet.

How could he fall in love with...someone like me?

There were innumerable vibrant and lovely things in the world worth loving, but I wasn't one of them.

"I'm sorry." I said.

I'm sorry I'm too dirty.

For a brief while, he was taken aback and smiled faintly, almost self-deprecatingly. "Sure enough, is it still the same..."

The room was filled with the aroma of alcohol, so I created an explanation for him. He must be intoxicated today, since drunk people always utter gibberish.

"G-Go back and rest early...I'm exhausted..."

He gazed at me for a long time before saying, "Okay. "

I couldn't bear the thought of not sleeping. Before going to bed, I took melatonin.

Insomnia was harmful to the heart. Zhou Chen would be worried.

I was preparing to get up the next morning when he walked in. I laid back and pretended I was still asleep when I heard the noise.

He could definitely tell I was faking sleep, but he didn't say anything. "There is an issue with a laboratory in 'Cologne'," he remarked as he sat beside my bed and stroked my hair. "I'm leaving for a business trip. I might not be able to return any time soon."

Such a last-minute business trip....

"You must take your medication on time at home. Take the driver if you want to go out, and don't stay up too late. "He still informed me as calmly as always, as if nothing had happened the day before.

My eyes began to shake, and just as I was ready to give up, he leaned over, kissed my forehead, and murmured, "I'm leaving."

I sprang out of bed as soon as the door shut and rushed to the window to look down.

After a time, I noticed Zhou Chen emerge from the home. When he was about to proceed to the gate, he abruptly stopped and turned his head to gaze in the direction of my room, as if he had sensed something.

I hastily shut the blinds and hid against my back. He was already gone when I got out again.

I wasn't sure if I'd been discovered.

Business trips were good. I didn't know how to face him at all, and I guess he was the same way.

Zhou Chen was not present. I had no desire to accomplish anything. Obviously, just one person was gone, but I had the impression that the entire home had become empty.

I couldn't stop grumbling about him. Coward, you're running after kissing.

He claimed he loved me, but he didn't come alongside me. Sure enough, it was all a scam. It wasn't true.

...Forget it, I was an even bigger coward.

I retrieved the letter box from beneath the bed since I had nothing better to do. I was in such a rush that I neglected to thoroughly tidy it.

None of the more than 100 letters were very lengthy, but the visual impact of them all together was powerful. I had nothing better to do, so I disassembled them and sat down to read them leisurely, as if they were a collection of essays.