We're Each Other's Querencia

Chapter 5

Callie rolled her neck as she massaged the muscles below it. She just spend an hour at the day care with Sofia to say her goodbye. Her lips curved up as she thought about her daughter, they really should go out together more. She then stopped dead on her tracks when she heard her name being called by a certain person. "Calliope!" her heart stopped beating, unsure what to feel. She had missed that. She released her breath she didn't know she's holding as Arizona walked towards her. "Hi!"

She pursed a small smile as the blonde glanced at her. "I-Callie I-well, you see-I" she uttered nervously as she licked her bottom lips out of habit, The Latina scrunched her eyebrows together as she tries to understand what the blonde wants to tell her. Arizona took a deep breath before speaking again, "I love you! I love you, Calliope!" she blurted and Callie's eyes widened a bit as her lips gaped slightly, taken back at what the woman just said to her and she tried to speak but there are no words came out her mouth so the blonde continued what she was trying to say. "Callie, I am sorry. I-I hurt you and-and screamed at you. I want you to know that I am sorry for what I did, and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry" guilt flashed Arizona's face as she move closer to Callie, her face reddened when her wife scoffed and saw how her face shifted from being surprised to enraged. "Cheated. You cheated on me! you couldn't even say what you did to me!" Callie stared hard on her eyes, seeing the tears that starting to build up as her jaw clenched. "I-I screwed up, Callie. Big time. A-and I regretted it, and I am deeply sorry for breaking your trust." Arizona bite her quivering lips as she stops herself from bawling in front of the woman, she looked at her wife's cold eyes that once filled with yearning and adoration. "You cheated. Say it! You cheated on your wife, Arizona! Say it!" She said with a stern voice that's loud enough for them to hear. "I-Callie-I'm sorry for hurting you, for-for causing you this pain-I-" Arizona sighed because for some reason, she can't say the word, maybe because this isn't who her father raised her to be. Callie swallowed hard as she averted her eyes, the blonde saw how her wife's lips curved down and it killed her. Callie glanced at her one more time as she walk passed the blonde.

...

Grabbing the second bottle she opened and chugging the alcohol, Callie is standing in front of a mirror for the fourth time this day. She slammed the bottle on to the bathroom's counter as she held a sharp blade on her stomach, slicing her skin below the cuts she did earlier. She didn't even hissed at the pain, this somehow relieved the pain she was drowning inside. It's like numbing her pain internally when she cuts herself and feel the pain physically. Her eyes followed the blood that's running down her skin, staring at her flawed body. With her fingertips, she followed the curves of her body, poking her tummy, then tracing the lines of minimal stretch marks on her lower abdomen. She cut her skin again, not to deep but enough to release the horrible feelings while looking at her body. After she cleaned up the mess at her apartment's bathroom, she grabbed the bottle of vodka, sipping while sitting on a high chair they have at their kitchen counter. Preparing for what's to come.

Arizona didn't expect to be at their apartment when she entered. She slowly approached the woman, "Callie..." she whispered but she didn't even turn to look at her. She then saw her wife staring at her wedding ring, playing it with her thumb as she took a big gulp of the alcohol. "I cheated" Arizona finally said it, she knows apologizing can still fix a lot of things. "I cheated on you, Callie. And I broke your trust and I am sorry for what I did, Please" Arizona breathed as she moved closer to her wife. "I want you gone in my apartment." she blurted, finally looking at the eyes of the blonde with tears straining her caramel cheeks. "I can't keep lying on my dead best friend's bed! It's killing me! so I-i don't care where you'll stay, but I want you gone in here!" Callie's voice is starting to raise as she slammed the bottle of vodka she's holding and the blonde jumped from the load bang. "Callie, please-please let's talk about this! please!" she pleaded, then the other woman stood up as she paced around the kitchen. "Oh now you wanna talk?? OK THEN, LET'S TALK!!" talking a big amount of alcohol and wincing as it burns down her throat, shooting the woman with a rage look.

"I waited for you! I waited months for sex! I respected you and gave you all the time you needed!!" Callie screamed as alcohol intoxicated her thinking while Arizona stood there, hearing her wife lashed out all what's she's been keeping inside. "And then this 'sexy' doctor showed up, batting her eyelashes on you and you come jumping right in!!" Callie continued with her harsh hand movements as she expressed her anger for what the blonde did to her. "I resisted, Callie! I-I told her that I am married to you! I tried! believe me, please!" Arizona defended herself. The Latina scoffed as she turned her back and walked towards the living room with the blonde following behind, ignoring the sting on her stomach. "You tried, you resisted. If so, THEN WE SHOULDN'T BE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW!!" she wailed. "I-I wasn't there?? at the back of your mind?! I-I didn't even occur to you when you were kissing her??! What you just completely forgot that you have a wife and a daughter who will suffer at the pain??" Callie asked, catching her breath as her hands started shaking, she is trying her best to keep her balance. "Arizona, do you know how much you've m-made me feel worthless?? I didn't even popped in your mind when you rolled your eyes at the back of your head, c-cumming on her?! w-when your hands are roaming her body o-or even her moaning you-your name?!? It just took seconds for-for you to FORGET OUR MARRIAGE AND OUR FAMILY?!" Choking up with her wheezy voice as she shed her tears, hands are now on her heart, massaging it to relieve some pain.

At this point, the blonde's heavily breathing as she run dropped on her knees at her wife's abdomen. wrapping around her arms around Callie's waist, soaking her gray sweater with tears. "I'm sorry! I am so sorry, Callie. Please!" she pleaded, Callie then sat at the sofa on her side, leveling with the blonde. "It's just s-sex, Callie. I didn't- I didn't made love with her. Please, believe me." she added and Callie was losing it, "Was-was that suppose to make me feel better??! You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me, but somehow that didn't stopped you..." she then scrunched her eyebrows while slightly shaking her head. "W-was it me? am I a h-horrible wife?? am I horrible in bed that you have to screw other woman?? w-was it my body o-or have I done something to you??" cracking her voice as Arizona held her hands, "NO! No, Callie, I LOVE YOU OK? PLEA-" The Latina cut her off as she look deeply on her eyes. "YOU COME TO ME. YOU COME TO YOUR WIFE IF YOU NEED SOMETHING-ANYTHING, AND I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU!" She sternly said, emphasizing each words, veins popping out on her temple as the woman in front of her nods. "If you are h-hurting, come to me! If you want sex, come to me! USE ME!!" Placing her face on her hands as she sobbed painfully. Arizona moved beside her and hold her wife close, both crying their eyes out. "I'm sorry. I love you, Calliope and seeing you like this is killing me. I am sorry for hurting you while I was hurting. I was selfish, and wrong, and I was thinking only about myself and what I was going through. I am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She repeatedly said as the Latina calms down from hyperventilating.

Arizona scooted at the edge of the sofa as she hold her wife as tightly as possible. Callie closed her swollen eyes as she shuddered, laying her head at the top of the blonde's chest. Feeling all the warmth of her wife's arms. Uncontrollable tears rolled at the side of her cheeks as she started to fall asleep, being dizzy by the alcohol and exhausted for all the screaming. Arizona rubbed her back, soothing her and kissing her wife's head as she finally closed her eyes.