Body And Soul

18. Nerves Aside

After waiting at least fifteen minutes, Taehyung moved to make sure Jimin and Hobi had vacated the premise. Thankfully they had. When he came back to the bedroom to get Jungkook, Taehyung moved to walk downstairs. Jungkook followed after him, waiting by the living room entryway as he watched Taehyung. Taehyung navigated himself around the gray leather couch in the room and towards a large television that was mounted to the wall.

"What are you doing?" asked Jungkook as he lingered hesitatingly in the doorway.

"I want to show you something," said Taehyung as he grabbed up the remote to the television, navigating through the apps on the screen until he had found YouTube. "Please come in and have a seat."

Jungkook nodded as he entered the room, taking a seat on the couch. His body squelched into the interior as he watched Taehyung flick through YouTube for a moment before clicking on a video of a concert snippet of some sort. Jungkook looked at the screen which had taken on a purple pink tinge from whatever stage lighting was being used in the paused video. Standing in the center of the screen was a blonde-haired Taehyung. He was dressed in some sort of sparkly white number and holding an equally glittery microphone in one hand. Jungkook noticed that - even with the video currently paused - Taehyung's eyes even glittered too with tears.

"You may think that nerves are something that an idol doesn't experience," said Taehyung, "Or at the very least, you think it's something that I don't experience. In fact, the nerves have never left me. In one of my first solo performances, I was actually in the midst of a panic attack. This video is that performance."

Taehyung paused as he moved to take a seat next to Jungkook on the couch. He gestured the remote at the still paused television screen as he continued to speak.

"This performance happened shortly after I was signed to the label I still currently work for. I want you to watch it. I think it will help you see that what you're feeling...I've felt it before too. I still do."

Taehyung pressed 'play' before Jungkook could say anything, leaving Jungkook helpless to do anything besides turn to look at the screen as it came to life. Taehyung's hauntingly beautiful voice reached Jungkook's ears as the video played, but he could still hear traces of the nerves within each vocal and see the fear mirrored in his eyes.

"How did you push through it?" asked Jungkook softly as the video continued to play.

"I just kept telling myself that I could do it; that it may not be something I was comfortable with doing, but that I possessed the ability to do it all the same."

Jungkook nodded as the video came to an end. Taehyung used the remote in his hand to turn the television off before moving to sit sideways on the couch to face Jungkook.

"Jungkook, we never imagined we'd be living someone else's lives - and while I don't care about my career - I care about you and your mental health. I know you can do it. You just need confidence in yourself."

Jungkook didn't say anything, looking down at his hands as he wrung them together. Taehyung reached out a hand to hold one of his hands.

"I can sing with you," offered Taehyung.

"But I definitely can't sing," said Jungkook as he looked over at Taehyung in his body.

"Have you tried?..."

"I mean, yeah...in the shower."

Taehyung smiled softly, holding one of Jungkook's hands as he cleared his throat. The moment that Taehyung tried to sing, he was shocked at the quality of the voice that came out. Jungkook really could sing. He honest to goodness could. Even Jungkook who sat across from him was shocked at the melodic voice passing Taehyung's lips.

"You have talent, Jungkook," said Taehyung as he stopped. "Now it's your turn."

Taehyung kept a hold of Jungkook's hand as he saw the traces of nervousness and fear in the other's eyes. He knew without Jungkook even trying that it would end up the same as it had in the recording studio.

"Wait a second..." said Taehyung as he tugged Jungkook off the couch and led him into the kitchen. He dropped Jungkook's hand by the the kitchen island as he went behind it. "Jungkook, close your eyes."

"Why am I afraid to do that?" asked Jungkook with a slight chuckle as he did what Taehyung asked him to do anyway.

Taehyung walked over to the sink while Jungkook's eyes were closed, turning the faucet on before gripping the sink hose that was there. He turned over his shoulder to see that Jungkook was still standing with his back to him. He figured that Jungkook's eyes were shut and pressed the trigger of the sink hose so that water sprayed in a fine mist out of it. He then turned the hose away from the sink and across the way at Jungkook so that the water hit him in the back.

"HEY! What is that for?" asked Jungkook as he turned around to look at Taehyung who didn't let up in spraying him with water.

"Close your eyes again and pretend you're in the shower," said Taehyung. "I'm merely helping to set the mood."

"You're making a mess..."

"Technically it's my kitchen and I don't care," said Taehyung, "Now will you close your eyes and do what I asked you to?"

Jungkook smirked but humored Taehyung as he closed his eyes and tried to sing like he would in the shower after Laylin had gone to work. Thinking of Laylin calmed him down even further until the voice that left his lips sounded like the voice on the songs that Laylin had played for him so often he had become sick of them. Jungkook could feel small droplets of water stinging his face as he continued to sing the first song that came to mind. Taehyung smiled from his spot behind the hose. His idiotic method had worked.

- - -

After the impromptu shower, Taehyung and Jungkook sat back on the living room couch each cupping a bowl of ramen noodles in their hands. Jungkook had water still tracking down his face as he ate.

"I have to say I like your method of getting me to sing over Jimin and his darts," said Jungkook as he slurped a noodle into his mouth with a small chuckle.

"I told you that I had a better way," said Taehyung as he looked over at Jungkook. "I'm just sorry you were driven to the point of a panic attack. I know those aren't any fun."

"So your parents really forced you into this business?" asked Jungkook as they continued to eat.

"Yeah. Since I was little, they wanted me to be someone great. Half of me thinks it was so they could reap the benefits of it all too," said Taehyung. "I never got a chance to figure out what sort of person I wanted to become."

"Well that's not fair at all," said Jungkook. "You should at least have a chance to find that out for yourself."

"Never had time to," said Taehyung. "As you see being me, there's always some sort of demand on my plate. Besides, I've learned how to adapt. I've made a successful career, so I may as well keep it up."

Jungkook fell silent as he ate for a moment or two before breaking the silence.

"I've played along with your idea to help me," said Jungkook, "Now will you agree to do something that I think will help you?"