You're My Devotion (Hariana Fanfiction)

Chapter 16- What do you say?

You're my devotion 16

Urging to keep my eyes locked with Harry's I stared at Zayn unable to bring myself to tell him what was stuck on my tongue. "Ariana?" he then asked, the crowd was cheering by now, telling me to accept his apology. Looking at the ground I felt my dry tears being replaced with fresh new salty tears. My heart beat fast thinking about the colours of what a relationship with Zayn embraced. Then I thought about how Harry made me question myself, he pushed me the limits and surprisingly brought out the best in me. I know it wasn't right. I felt like I loved them both, it was cruel, selfish and I wish I didn't feel that way. I had to choose now, my decision was unheard and people were waiting. As I looked up I saw Harry desperately glaring at me. I shook my head, brushed my hair back, bit my lip and walked towards Zayn. "I... I forgive you" I spoke not hearing myself. He attacked me with a hug, I craved his touch and it had overwhelmed me how he had addressed our love to the world. "Come on, it's our song" Zayn whispered. He sang the first line of give me love by Ed Sheeran. I then joined him and we had sung a duet. We didn't keep our eyes off each other and my heart fluttered, how it used to.

Everyone was crying tears of joy; it was exciting to see how lovely the fans greeted what we had. Then what I hoped would never happen, happened. Harry rummaged off stage; he then punched the wall beside him. His face was something I'd never seen, anger & grief or somewhere in between. My eyebrows furrowed together I tried to understand why he acted this way, he can't..? He can't feel the same way about me can he?

I rubbed my temples and scanned the crowd. Lights were flashing everywhere, all colluded with different shades. People from other nations were singing what makes you beautiful. Posters and hearts were thrown to the atmosphere. I couldn't hear my own voice, my ears blocked I felt the tension increase. I wanted to run, far away. I had never felt this way at a concert ever before. Doubts crossed my mind, would I ever see harry again? Will he ignore me? I asked myself and the answer I knew tortured me. I ran backstage saying "I'll be back" to everyone.

I searched every single room. I made sure I inspected every hiding spot. I needed to see Harry. "HARRY!" I yelled while my tears created floods, "HARRY!" I repeated as my voice faded with the lump sitting on my throat. I saw a guy with curly hair I ran after him, my steps slowing with each pressure. "You bloody feet!" I shouted at my legs which decreased its amount of help to allow me to reach my destination. Why was I even crying?

"Harry! We- har-" I stopped in my tracks realizing this man wasn't harry. “Um you need anything miss?” the guy asked politely. I didn’t answer and shrugged him off. Running off, I found myself sitting in my dressing room bawling my eyes out. I sniffed and rang Harry’s number again. Then I heard some kind of ringing, I was bewildered and wondered why there was this sound. Then I saw him, I felt some kind of comfort. Like I was glad he was here. “Harry I’ve been looking for you?” he stepped out of his shadow and came closer. Naturally, I went backwards but he didn’t stop. “Harry what are you doing…” I whispered alarmed by his weird actions, “Do I scare you?” he then asked. I thought for a second, not sure about what I felt but then I realised no. I wasn’t scared of him.  “No” I stiffly replied standing straight. “Then why are you breathing heavy?” He caught the atmosphere that surrounded me. I was left stranded not sure of what I should do, all I thought about was how soft his lips looked, I then stepped even closer, terminating the distance between us. He stared into my eyes while I did the same to him. The emerald green eyes of his illuminated within in the darkness of the small room. Harry’s dimples took my breath away, I wanted to reach out and grab his hair pulling him as close as it gets but I knew I didn’t have the authority to do so. “Do I make you nervous” he hotly muttered against the sensitive area around the back of my ear. My eyes fluttered back, I was so confused but being in this position with him made me feel great. “I…” not being able to control myself anymore I grabbed his hair as he bit my ear lobe gradually coming towards my lips. Just as I leaned in, he pulled away. “Ariana you’ve got to make your mind up. You’re confusing me, one second you’re accepting Zayn’s apology then the next you’re here, wanting to kiss me. What hurts the most is what your pretending to do here, I want it to be true so sorry if I don’t stick around to be disappointed” He struck at me as I was left there thinking about what he said. I sat down, and started to cry. Crying about all I’ve done. Cried about how guilty I felt. Do you ever think you love someone when truly you’re trying to get over someone else? I wouldn’t say a rebound, I would consider it to be a form of comfort and I guess that’s not bad. But what if you fall so hard you forget what you were living was a lie? It was a big fat disappointment, and then the worst part is feeling regret. All these ugly emotions mixed together, how would you feel?

Harry’s POV

As I left the room, I wiped my tears and put the Harry Styles IT boy mask on. After all, I had many songs to be a part of. I had a commitment. All I thought about what was going through Arianas head right now. It pained me to know today it was the end; we will all go our separate ways. How will I ever live without seeing her beautiful face every day?

“Sorry guys, needed a toilet break!” I laughed to the screaming crowd. “This next song, is Irresistible, how you guys are” Zayn winked at our fans, they all went crazy and some even threw their bras on stage. I smirked at the gesture, and then sang the lines of the song.

As soon as the concert ended I went onto the bus that would take us to the airport. Was I really ready to say good bye? I mean, no matter what I really liked Ariana and if the price of seeing her meant I had to stand her relationship with Zayn, I would.

I watched as she packed her bags, she ignored me and Zayn, I mean we were both bewildered in what she was doing, did she want us both? I mean I hope she knew that was impossible. What am I saying? This is Ari, she’s the sweetest girl ever and I accused her of leading me on. Whatever she must have done, it was obviously just me getting my hopes up. I felt like I can’t look at her face anymore, she doesn’t deserve me and Zayn’s obviously the best for her. She’s happy with him, he makes her happy and no one, not even me can stand in-between that because Ariana deserves this.

Maybe talking to her isn’t for the good, maybe just maybe ignoring Ariana is what I have to do for her contentment.

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so Hariana & Zariana shippers. What do you want to happen? do you want to want Ariana to be happy with a flirty Harry or a hopeless romantic Zayn?

shes a sweet girl remember, she deserves the best.

but who is the best guy for her?