Why Am I Here? (Red Vs Blue)

Episode 11: Knock, knock. Who's there? Pain.

Sarge and Grif are standing next to the Warthog which is now on its side behind Red Base. Lopez and Mateo crouched over it, repairing it.

Grif: And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and.. shit just started blowin' up. I don't know. (sighs)

Sarge: (exhales in exasperation) Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?

Grif: I-I don't know, uh, like, uh, what.. ten, ten.. twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, you-you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?

Mateo: That's sounds like a plan because I'm getting really fed up with your bullshit.

Sarge: Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten-second head start here before I let Lopez and Rivera do anything they wants to ya.

Lopez and Mateo stop working and stand up to face Grif.

Grif: Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really, really sorry here, and-

Lopez and Mateo put down their tools for their rifles.

Sarge: Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi.

Grif: (backing away) Okay, uh, I guess I better get going then.

The three look at each other then turn and start firing at Grif.

Grif: Hey guys, that's not funny! Somebody could get hurt here.

Cut to the top of Blue Base where Tucker is standing next to Tex who is firing at something.

Tucker: That's basically it, sir. They have six guys over there and a big jeep.

Tex: And your flag. (reloads)

Tucker: Right, that too.

Tex throws a grenade.

Tucker: Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here.

Camera pans, showing Tex has been firing "at" Caboose.

Caboose: I'm scared.

Tex starts looking over various weapons. Caboose runs up to Tex and Tucker.

Tucker: So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?

Tex: (looks at Tucker while reloading a gun)

Tucker: Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th-

Tex runs off.

Tucker: Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later.

Caboose: (whispering loudly) I don't think he likes you.

Tucker: ...Thanks.

Tucker and Caboose run up to the edge of the base.

Tucker: Where are you going?

Tex: Red Base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back.

Caboose: Oh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans.. porter...

Cut to the top of Red Base.

Grif: So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because SOMEBODY didn't believe in it.