Mateo, Grif and Simmons standing atop Red Base with Lopez behind the trio.
Simmons: Hey.
Grif: Yeah?
Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?
Grif: No. I never, ever, wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch. (Gets punched) Ow!
Mateo: Don't use my motto! You're not a marine!
Church possesses Lopez.
Lopez: Keegakergerk!
Simmons: What? What's wrong with Lopez?
They turn to look at him.
Grif: I don't care.
Mateo: I don't know. Why don't you talk to him and see what's wrong?
Simmons: Hey, Lopez, uh.. you okay, man?
Church as Lopez: [Guys, I need to give... you a... warning...What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!]
Simmons: Um... Sure...
Mateo: ...What?
Church: [No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!]
Mateo: .... Seriously, guys... what is he saying?
To the Blue Team
Tucker: (overlooking Tex fixing Shelia) Aw, crap. Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila. I better radio Church and tell him what's going on.
Caboose: Oh! Oh! Oh! Tucker, please! Please! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker, please! Tuck-
Tucker: Yes, you can be the one who radios Church.
Caboose: Thanks, man. (turns on radio) Calling Church. Come in, Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley.
Tucker: O'Malley? You said your name was Caboose.
Caboose: I never said that, you guys did!
Tucker: Why didn't you correct us?
Caboose: Because I didn't want to be difficult. (turns on radio... again) Come in, Private Church. Do you copy? Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness. (clears throat) How is your progression?
Church: (over radio) [Caboose! No one here is listening to me! I can only speak Spanish for some reason!]
Caboose: ... (turns to Tucker) ...He says he wants to talk to you.
Sheila: (starting up) Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank.
Tucker: Oh shit. We got trouble.
Cut back to the Reds
Church: Un tanque... grrrande!
Grif: Hey. I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language.
Sheila: (from a distance) Target locked.
Mateo: What country? We're on an alien planet, you dumbass.
Grif: What're you, a communist?
Mateo: No. But if you were, then I would shoot you immediately.
YOU ARE READING
Why Am I Here? (Red Vs Blue)
FanfictionAn 18 year old signs up for military service, and gets shipped off to somewhere he's never been or heard of before. A hot canyon with a bunch of idiots inside. RvB is owned by RoosterTeeth Halo is owned by Halo Studios
