Why Am I Here? (Red Vs Blue)

Episode 24: Sweet Ride

The Warthog faces the Reds and Doc.

Simmons: Okay, I get it. You built a remote control for the jeep into Lopez.

Sarge: Yep. But there's no way anyone could have found out how to turn it on. I hid it in a place no one would ever look. Unless... (turns to Donut) Hey, Pretty-in-Pink, were you messin' with my robot?

Donut: What're you asking me for?

Mateo: Well for one, you have a girl or in your case a femboy's lifestyle, two you sound like you're gay, and three he thinks you sucked off Lopez.

Donut: Oh okay... (realizes) Wait... he thinks I am what?!

Grif: So, someone else controls the jeep right now? And the big gun attached to it?

Sarge: Oh, get a pair, you bunch o' Barbies. Even if they've figured out how to turn it on, they'd never know the set of code words to control it. Only me, Rivera and my diary know that.

Mateo: And it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Sarge: Hey, I'll have you know that it will be secured, Rivera. You just don't believe!

Cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose standing on top of Blue Base, a beeping noise is heard very faintly.

Church: There, you hear that?

Tucker: Is it like a screaming, high pitched whistling noise followed by a series of random clicks?

Church: No, it's just like this constant "beep beep beep" noise.

Tucker: Oh. Then no, I don't hear anything.

Church: Do you eh, wait - do you actually hear a series of whistling noises followed by some random clicks?

Tucker: No, I was just tryin' to be helpful.

Church: Yeah, well, you're failing.

Caboose: All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us.

Church and Tucker: ...

Caboose: Wait, you guys don't hear that?

Church: Oh man, I can't take this any more. Tucker, you're gonna have to do something, man, this beeping is going to drive me crazy.

Church's words "going to drive me crazy.. drive me crazy.." echoing across the Canyon

Warthog: (emits a series of beeps like the beginning of a dial-up connection) Drive.

Sarge: Jumpin' Jehozafats, they've cracked the code. Those dern windtalkers.

Mateo: I'm sorry Sarge, you were saying? I told you that shit would be that too simple, did I not?!

The Warthog drives straight at Doc and hits him. He lands in the driver's seat as it continues driving away with him.

Donut: Hey, he's taking the jeep!

Doc: Help, this jeep is kidnapping me!

Donut: Now he's taunting us. This is just embarrassing.

Simmons: Hey, Sarge, new rule. How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it.

Mateo: Somebody save him!?

Grif: Hell no. He's on his own.

Cut to the Blues. Caboose is kneeling in front of Church.