You're all I have (tate and violet)

chapter 2

"Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh
Let's go get high
{...}
Choose your last words,
This is the last time
Cause you and I
We were born to die"

the song was playing on my phone while I was counting the little daisies on my skirt with an empty mind until a knock on my door stopped me.

"come in." I said still caught up in the music.

"hey " my mother said in a quiet voice.

I just rolled my eyes and said "mom if this just another 'monthly depression talk' please leave right away before I throw up."

she always has to do this shit yet she knows it doesn't help

"Vi, you need to get over your past and start living life." she said in a calm voice putting her hand over my shoulder which drove me crazy.

"how can I 'live life' I'm dead mom! I don't have anything I'm stuck here like a crazy man in an asylum. it's only been three years and I feel so empty. what will happen in 200?!" I said loosing my voice while screaming and crying at the same time.

"Violet I know you had to give up on Tate..." just by saying his name the last part of my heart broke in a million pieces

"and from now on I won't be giving you these talks, you will find a way to be happy we all do eventually, we all control our own feelings so its on you whether you wanna be happy or sad." she said, kissed my forehead and left the room.

"that's bullshit." I said under my breath.

I opened my drawers to find my speakers so I can piss some off the spirits in this house with my music.I haven't looked through it in years it's just old junk, stuff from school and baby pictures of me.

I looked at the picture of myself when I was three. So full of life, happy and I had no idea I would be dead in a few years. Three year old innocent badass Violet wouldn't be proud of the person I am now and that made me even sadder.

I kept looking through the drawers and just when I thought my heart was broken it stopped and my body froze.
"I painted it black I know how you don't like normal things."
"you're the first boy to ever give me a flower."
the rose was beautiful as it was the day he gave it to me, a bit of the black paint came off but surprisingly it still smelt like Tate, as if he held it yesterday.

It sucks how you remember all the good memories when you are haunted by bad ones.

I let out a tear "i miss you so much." I said twirling the rose.

"I miss you more thank you can ever imagine Violet." i had a minnie heart attache when I saw that face. The same face that fixed me and broke me.

He was wearing the green and black sweater he wore on the day we met in my bathroom. I could see tears running down his face. When I heard his voice I felt a sting all over my body. You would think I was mad? Honestly this is the best thing that's happened in three years. I thought he found happinies with someone else, hell this house is full with beautiful dead girls.

"it doesn't have to be like this Vi." tears kept rushing down his face.

"It does Tate, and it's your fault." as much as I loved him I had to be strong.

"Violet I love you so goddamn much, you are the light at the end of my dark tunnel..." he was still crying. I wiped my tears

"Tate... go away..." I said in a calm voice that it came out almost as a whisper. I had to bite my tongue.

"I'll go away but I will always be here." he said and disappeared.

I sat for a bit in my room and listened to music in hope for it to make me feel better.

It's been a terrible day but I felt kind of bad for what I said to my mom earlier so I decided to go downstairs for a bit to make her feel like I actually am a part of her family.

While I was walking down the stairs a familiar annoying voice greeted me "Oh look who finally came out of her little kingdom."

"shut up Hayden you are full of bullshit." I rolled my eyes

"really? well that's not what your little boyfriend said when we were kissing after he stormed out of your room." she said and gave me a wink. I froze.

"I hope you're happy with him." I bit my lip in hopes to stop me from crying. I thought he said he loved me? I can't believe how stupid I actually am.

I ran back into my room. The pain wouldn't go away even music couldn't cure my heartache but I think an old friend can. I pulled out one of the shinny blades from my nightstand and wiped my tear.

"hello friend, I hope you can make me feel better." I had the fakest smile but the sad thing is that it was my first smile in 3 years.