OUR HEARTBEAT [BEOMJUN] ✅

twenty-five

We sat on the hill behind the school, the goalposts of the football stadium barely visible in the dark. Arin was next to me, clinging to my arm because she was cold. Soobin was on the other side, leaning back on one hand, holding a flashlight with the other. Yeonjun stood, a golf ball on a tee, my dad’s golf club in his hands. He surveyed the distance, then turned our way.

He pointed the end of the golf club at me and winked. “This one’s for you.”

My heart gave a happy flutter. And that’s when I realized it—what all my unexpected reactions around him had been about lately—I had a crush on my best friend’s crush.

No.

This couldn’t happen. It wasn’t happening. I cleared my throat. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” I said, but my voice came out funny. I tried not to look at Arin next to me.

Yeonjun wound up and swung. The thud of the metal connecting with the ball echoed, and I watched as the ball flew into the air, highlighted by the beam of Soobin’s flashlight. Then it disappeared into the night.

Arin laughed so hard that she snorted. “It’s too dark,” she said between her laughter. “You can’t prove anything.”

“He can if we turn on the stadium lights,” Soobin said.

“We’re not turning on the stadium lights,” I responded. “We can just do this after school Monday.”

“The football team will be practicing Monday,” Soobin said. “I’m going to go turn on the lights.” He stood.

Arin did, too. “I’ll go with you.”

“No, this is a stupid idea,” I said.

“It sounds fun to me,” Arin said.

I stood. “We should all go, then.”

“No, because when we turn on the lights, Yeonjun has to be up here to hit the ball,” Soobin said. And with that he, his flashlight, and Arin went back down the hill, leaving me and Yeonjun in the dark.

“Wait!” I called out, but they didn’t stop.

Why would they do that? Arin knew I hated Soobin, but why hadn’t she sent me down the hill with him so she could be alone with Yeonjun? Considering she was the master flirter, she was doing this all wrong. Even I knew that. Was this another one of her games? Was she trying to make herself look more appealing? What was Arin thinking? Probably not that I had feelings for the guy she just left me alone with. Why would she think that? Only a horrible friend would like the guy his best friend liked.

I rubbed my arms and turned slowly away from Arin’s disappearing back and toward Yeonjun.

He stood there, with his golf club, watching them disappear down the hill as well. He seemed just as disappointed by this turn of events as I did.

Okay, I could do this. I’d been doing this. Nobody needed to know about my feelings, including him. I sank back down to the dirt and looked up at the sky. The stars were so numerous that they seemed to be close to bursting through the blackness.

“It’s amazing up here,” I said.

Yeonjun looked up, too. “I agree. But I wish I could see this sky over a million different cities.”

“Really?”

He propped the golf club on the ground and leaned on the end of it. “You don’t?”

“I don’t know. This is my home. It’s my comfort zone.”

“I would argue that you can feel that way anywhere,” Yeonjun said thoughtfully, “if you are comfortable in your own skin.”

Maybe that was part of my problem. I wasn’t all the time. I was only truly comfortable when right in the middle of the lake. It’s when I felt the most like me.