OUR HEARTBEAT [BEOMJUN] ✅

thirty-two

“I’m sorry,” I said, my palms sweating, looking at Liz. “We’ll edit that out. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“What happened?” Sieun asked.

The audience seemed to sense I had made a grave error and had become deathly silent. So silent that when Liz shouted out, her words rang out crystal clear over the crowd.

“Why didn’t you use your own life as an example, Beom?” My cousin’s face was splotchy with emotion. “Your best friend likes the guy you like and so you’re not pursuing it. You could’ve just said that.”

My heart seized up. How did Liz know? Was I that transparent? Had she guessed? Had Yeonjun guessed? Had Arin guessed? I scanned the crowd again for Arin but I couldn’t see her anywhere. I purposefully avoided looking anywhere near Yeonjun.

Liz continued, “Instead you have to throw your cousin under the bus with a story that’s not even true?”

“It’s not?” I asked, and then wanted to slap myself. That wasn’t the point. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “It just slipped out. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s just second nature at this point, right?” Liz snapped. “You exploit the people in your life for the benefit of the podcast. Just ask Mr. Looking for Love.”

Liz whipped her head over to Yeonjun and so did I. I shouldn’t have looked at him. But it was too late. His gaze went between Liz and me. Then he turned quickly and walked away, sidestepping people and then the outer rope before he disappeared into the carnival.

I closed my eyes and took a calming breath because otherwise I was going to cry. When I opened my eyes, I saw that Liz, who I was sure had done that to get even with me, looked like she regretted the choice. But she huffed, turned on her heel, and stomped away, too.

“Well, that was dramatic,” Sieun said.

There was rustling and whispering in the audience. I stayed in my seat because we were in the middle of a podcast and if I went running after Liz or Yeonjun, that would just add to the drama. I didn’t need the whole school in on this any more than they already were.

“Is there something you’d like to share, Beom?” Sieun asked me.

“Not really,” I said. That’s when I remembered my parents were in the audience. My mom looked worried. My dad was confused. Great.

Sieun answered one more question from the box. I didn’t even hear what she said because my ears were ringing and my eyes hurt. Then, thankfully, Sieun said, “That’s all the time we have for tonight, folks. We’ll talk to you all again at our regularly scheduled time. Good night, Oak Court!” She depressed the RECORD button.

I immediately jumped to my feet. “I have to—”

“Go,” Sieun said, holding her hand out for my headphones. I handed them to her and took off.

Yeonjun and Liz were standing together when I found them just outside the carnival in the parking lot. I had no idea what she was saying to him but it couldn’t be good. I skidded to a halt as I reached them.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. To both of them this time.

“My friends are going to think I’m delusional,” Liz told me, her cheeks bright red. “Jake is in college! I’m a freshman in high school. I’m not an idiot. Sure, I think he’s cute, but I do not, in fact, like him. I like someone else, actually, and if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own life and fame then maybe you’d know that.”

My face burned, too. “Jake won’t know. I’ll edit it out.”

She let out one single, ironic laugh. “People will talk. The whole school was there.”