Breaking the rules

Chapter 4

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital. It was almost silent. The nurses haven't told me anything. Every time I saw a worker, I perked up, they were not here for me. They were not working on her. This hospital was clean. I could tell the floor was recently mopped. I saw my reflection. I was straight-faced. I looked like, I was only there for a check-up. There was no pain in my face. How does she read me? 

On the inside, I was trembling. I was sweating. but then I'd get cold. I had an ache in my stomach. I needed to know if she was okay. I sat back in the chair and stared at the floor. I couldn't move my eyes until my sister sat next to me. She came back with a doughnut and coffee. "Anything on her?" she asked. Her hand was shakey, when she handed me my coffee. 

"Nothing yet, and thanks for the coffee," I said taking a sip. It's sweet. She went to Starbucks. "You don't have to stay here, Bec. I can have Atlas take you home in a not bloody car."

"No. I'm staying until I know she's okay. I will miss my classes for her and I need to know that you're okay too," she excused. "You practially raised me and Nate. You introduced me to my new best friend, I'm not leaving."

"You'll leave, not right now, but I will make you go home because this is your degree we're talking about. You have worked so hard for this damn thing, I'm not going to let your grades slip and have you not graduate," I argued with her. I saw she was shaking even more aggrevisly. I pulled her under my arm and soothed her like I did when we were little. "I-I'm sorry, I just can't lose Morana. If I do, I don't want you to see me that way."

We took a few seconds to gather ourselves. I stopped myself from crying. It took every fiber in my body from crying, but it didn't happen. "You'd make a great dad, Bucky. Maybe if they ever had a cool aunt and they learned your name, the would call 'Bucket', Like I used too," I remember when Becca called me "Bucket". She was barely starting school , that was the time I had to explain the a toddler why daddy wasn't come home. 

"No, Morana and I have agreed, that we're not going to bring kids into sick world," I said. I wanted kids, but Morana was infertile. "She's never wanted kids, she doesn't think she's fit to be a mother."

"She'd be better than ours," my little sister laughed. "Do you want kids?"

"I'd love to have one or two little buttheads running around. I didn't want kids with her, because I wanted her all to myself, but I saw how she interacted with animals and her nephew. I felt like putty," I described, almost the whole time we were in Colorado. "I even saw how she took care of her best friend when shit with William hit the fan. She didn't care if we had plans or not, we brought Quinn with us everywhere, Morana even made sure she went a step farther and made sure someone was stopped."

I looked down at my arm that was around Beccas and saw a bloodied hand print. I brought my palms to my face and saw them covered in blood. There was so much, it started to drip onto the floor. "Bucky?" I heard my sisters voice and ripped my eyes away from my hands. My hands drew to Morana dagger. The dagger she used to stab Billy. "Are you okay?"

I looked back at my hands and they were clean, not a spec of dirt was under my fingernail, "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." I looked at my worried sister and I wanted to break. "Go to my place tonight, you'll be safer there instead of egg donor's." I gave Atlas a text and he showed up immediatly. "If there's one fucking scratch on my sister, I'm gutting you like a fish," I warned him.

"Yes, of course, sir," Before he walked out with Becca he gave me a sad look. "She'll make it, she's a fighter, a great one too."

"Take care Atlas," I smiled. "Bec, make sure you sleep, okay?"

"Of course, Buck. You get some sleep too," she gave me one last hug before she and Atlas left. At this point it was nighttime. I really wanted to fall asleep, I was exhausted. Dinner was supposed to be at 6:30. I went to my mothers at 5:30. It's 15 'till 9. I had to call Quinn. She needed to know. I also need to call Morana's parents. I grabbed my phone and searched for Williams number. Once I called, it was Quinn who answered. 

I was shouted at. I heard the crying. I was shamed. After Quinn hung up on my explanation, I immediatly called Morana's dad. I know he wasn't proud. I heard the dissapointment in his voice. I vowed my whole life to protect his daughter, and I already broke it. I didn't get to apologize before a doctor walked out and searched for me. "Uhh, Mr. Barnes?"

"That's me," I hung up the phone, and shoved it in my pocket. I wasn't sure if i even did hang up, I did everything so fast. "How is she? Did she make it?"

"We don't know, she lost a large amount of blood so, she'll be staying here for a few nights. She's lucky, she's very lucky to still be breathing. If the bullet was aimed a little more to the right, she wouldn't be here," he paused. I took a deep breath. My face was damp. "I will have  a nurse come out and get you when your fiance is in recovery."

I slumpt down in the chair again, when I saw Quinn running inside. She stood still scanning the room until she locked eyes with me. She angerily stomped over to me and started yelling. "James, Bucky Barnes what the hell happened? Why is Morana in surgery? Why didn't you stop it?" She bombarded me with questions. I saw William was holding everything back from shouting at me. 

"Billy shot Morana. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't.." I whispered, the sobbing started again. It was uncontrolable at this point.

"Couldn't what?!" Quinn yelled. "You fucking failed us all today Barnes! All of us, espcially Morana." Quinn sat across from me, William sat next to her to try to  get her to calm down. Quinn was starting to cry, making my sobs into wails. 

"I know I couldn't save her! You don't think I don't know this, I tried but I failed, not her I did. I know I failed her," I slumpt even more. "Billy shot her, and I killed him."

"Where did he shoot her?" William asked, squatting in front of me.

"The arm," I responded.

"If she dies, I am done with you Barnes," Quinn muttered.