suicidal .//. S.M.

Chapter 20

Ashley*********

I feel like being in the rehabilitation center is goin to be good for me. I have a meeting with one of the phsychatrists today. They want me to talk about the reason I cut. I don't want to talk about it.

I walk into the room with the doctor and she says, "Hello ashley how are you." I smile and say, "I am alright." She nods and says, "Tell me what had lead you to cut?" I shrug and tell her all the shit that has happened. From the hate on my covers, to meeting shawn. From dating shawn and Kimberly dating Nash, to her not hanging with me.

She told me that it was probably stress from the boyfriend and the music. she also told me that I also needed to take a break from the music. I told her that I wouldn't take a break from shawn because it is definentally not him.

I am taking a break from school but I will be doing online schooling. I am glad about that. It means I don't have to see any of the girls in my class.

While I am here I basically just stay in the room area. I get crappy food and no outside interactions besides my parents. It's like being on an airplane, all lonesome. I mean some of the kids in here are nice but the others are crazy. I honestly feel a little stressed about not being able to fit in.

Shawn ***************

I went home with out knowing if Ashley is okay. Her parents hate me and I can't do anything about it. They think I am the cause of her misfourtune.

I walk into the house and my sister Aaliyah comes to give me a hug. "Shawn your back!" My mom says rushing towards me. "Hi mom," I say cringing at her kissing my cheek. "Where is your girlfriend?" Aaliyah asks me. I look at the floor and say, "I will be back." I drag my luggage to my room and start sorting my laundry.

There was a knock on my open door. I turn to see my mom standing in the doorway. "There is no girl is there? Was it just a crazy fan?" My mom asks. I shake my head. "She is more than a crazy fan. She is amazing, but broken. I love to see her but I can't see her," I say. "I know distance is hard but you can make it work. I know you two can," She says. "Not like that. I mean I am not allowed to see her," I say.

"What do you mean?" My mom asks. She is making her way to sit on the edge of my bed, where I used to make all my old vine covers. "I mean, something happened while I was there and her parents think I am the cause of it and now she is in the hospital. Ahsley keeps telling me that I am not the cause but I can't help but think it is," I tell her.

"Well you can't keep putting it on yourself. What happened? if you don't mind me asking," my mom says. "It's really not my story to tell but she fainted and was rushed to the hospital," I tell her. My mom nods understandingly. "If you want you can go to visit her," My mom tells me. "Really?!" I ask. My mom nods and says, "I want to meet her soon though." I smile and pull out my laptop booking the next flight to LA.

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"Let's go get lost live with out a plan," ~ Shawn mendes.

The last song was the weight. Thank you @LexiGoodyear 

Guess this song.

Thank you all for getting this to over 700 reads! I can't thank you enough for the great feedback I have gotten not just from my friends, but all the people i never knew existed. I love you guys!

Sorry for taking so long to post I was at disneyland yesterday and my phone dies in the car ride there while writing and nothing saved. I had to rewrite the whole chapter. I will be posting another chapter tonight!

Much Love and Muffins

~kimberly