suicidal .//. S.M.

Chapter 22

Ashley************

Shawn's phone goes off nonstop with Calls from kimberly and NAsh worried about my well being. We never answer any of them because I don't want to go back. The mendeses are doing a well enough job of letting me stay here.

"Ash, babe, can I talk to you for a second?" Shawn says. I nod and get up to hear what he has to say. "Baby you have to go back," Shawn says. "Why?" I ask. I am not being pushy, or desperate, I just don't want to go back home. "I am going on tour. I mean, my parents love you and all, but your family loves you too," Shawn says.

"If they loved me they would have to put me in rehab," I mummble more to myself. "I know you don't like it there, but I want you to go home. They are worried and miss you," Shawn says. "Fine," I say.

I pack my bags and get in the car with Shawn. "Thank you for going home, I love you," Shawn says. "Yea what ever," I mummble under my breath. We arrive at the airport and Shawn hugs me good bye. "Come visit yea?" I ask. Shawn nods and says, "If your parents don't kill us." I laugh and say, "I will take the blame. I love you," I tell him. I kiss him goodbye and leave for the plane.

When I get home my mother was livid. "What the hell were you thinking?" My mother furiously screams. "I wanted to be away from here. I am constantly suffocated from you guys since I fainted. I don't trust my bestfriend anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I liked it better while staying in Canada!" I scream equally as loud.

I got my phone and laptop taken away for a while. I can't use them. I now have to do my school work on the computer. I sit on the couch watchin tv when an ad comes up for Shawn's concert. I want to go so badly. My mother will never let me out of the house especially to see him. I keep scroll thing through the channels and get really upset. I can't do this anymore. I turn the tv off and grab my razor again.

I thought rehab helped, but I guess it didn't. I make a few marks on my thigh, over the healed scars. I miss Shawn, I miss Canada. I miss not having my parents breath down my neck every second of the day.

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"Guess I didn't know," ~Shawn Mendes

The last song was this is what it takes. What is this song?

Sorry I haven't been able to upload lately, but I am thinking to build suspense and give me more time to write chapters and make them better, I will upload everyother day. I hope you all understand that.

Much Love and Muffins

~kimberly