The Defiant

Again

Josiah

After I shattered one of the vases in the hotel hallway, I had finally calmed down enough to where I could think about something other than killing the general. I leaned my head against the wall and put my hands over my face. 

Again. 

Again, someone I loved was being hurt, and I could do nothing but sit and watch. A knot rose in my throat, and tears began to form in my eyes. 

"Fuck," I cursed, wiping them away and walking back towards the room. I shouldn't have left in the first place— Roan had looked so sad and broken — but I really needed to break something. Preferably not in front of him.

Rushed footsteps came around the corner, and Ezra appeared in front of me. I stopped and looked at him for a moment before I felt like crying again. 

I just wanted to keep them all safe. 

He pulled me in for a hug and squeezed me tightly. "He'll be okay," he consoled. 

And Roan would be okay. He could make a come back from anything; I had seen what his father did to him. If he survived years of that, he could survive anything. 

But...

"Twice," I muttered. "This is the second time Roan was abused right in front of me. And I couldn't do shit."

Ezra rubbed my back and looked up at me. "None of us could do anything, Josiah."

I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling as tears slid down my face. "I'm tired of it, Ez— I'm so fucking tired of having people I love get hurt, and- and every time I can't do anything. I'm always so useless," I whispered. 

He pulled away from our hug so he could grab the sides of my face and pull my head back down to look at him. "You are not useless, nut-head. And don't let me hear you call yourself that again."

I smiled sadly and grabbed his wrist. "You are so good at comforting people. All I can do is leave so I don't make it worse."

He shrugged and patted my cheek. "I am just making sure you aren't thinking stupid things." He grabbed my hand and started walking back towards our room. "Hey, Josiah?"

"Yeah?"

He tugged on a strand of his hair that had fallen out of his hairband. "You said people who you love— not only Roan. Who else... Who else have you had something like that happen to?"

I sighed. "My mother."

He squeezed my hand and looked up at me. "What happened?"

I sighed. "When I was ten, some men came looking for my dad. He wasn't a good guy and was in touch with some shady people. He pissed them off, and they came to look for him at my mom's house. Then they..." I swallowed harshly as I thought of that day. "They started beating her. She told me to hide in the closet until they left. So, I did... they finally decided they'd had enough after they broke her back."

He looked up at me and scanned my face. "I didn't know that happened."

I smiled. "I think the only one who might know is Roan. After the professor... did what he did, Roan showed me some pretty fucked up shit from his own life using his shadow thing. I think he also saw what happened that day."

"What did he show you?"

His dad...

How his dad beat his sister while Roan hid in his room, hoping he wouldn't be next. How he couldn't help his sister because if he did, his dad would definitely beat him ten times worse.