Robin's house looks warm from the end of the drive and yellow light spills across the porch from the living room window.
As I near the front steps, I can see the indistinct shapes of the people inside the room, crowded around on cushions and random chairs.
Robin's mother is a collector of antiques and she fills the Buckley residence with mismatched furniture.
Every time that I've visited, there's been something new lying about, whether a victorian washbasin or a sectional sofa from the fifties.
It's very different from my parent's house, which appears formidable and cold at the best of times.
Robin can never stay over for very long because she says the place gives her the creeps.
Most people would agree, I think, including myself.
My mother has never been someone who enjoys clutter or clash, so all of our furniture is of a rather impressive, but boring type.
It's why I spend so much time at other people's houses, because they feel more like home than my own house.
Even Eddie's trailer can end up feeling cozy and safe in the right light.
I'm beginning to think the difference is that all of my friends' houses are lived-in.
Robin's parents hardly ever leave their home for more than two nights at a time, and Dustin's mother is all that he's got, so they stick together pretty much always.
Even Eddie has Wayne, who loves him a lot more than my parents will ever love me.
Eddie also has someone new now.
Envy chases down my throat.
But there's no point in lingering on it.
I expected that Eddie would find someone sooner or later, because it could never be me, so I should be used to the idea by now.
Anyways, he probably wouldn't even like me the way that I am now.
I can never really tell with him, but I think he likes girls well enough and we're not exactly similar, so it wouldn't have worked out even if he does like boys.
On that one day, when he wrapped his arms around me and held me from behind, I thought that it meant something more than friends.
It didn't.
Eddie made that painfully clear because after the Upside Down, he pretty much ghosted me.
He also thought that I liked Nancy for a while and he gave me this really weird speech while we were searching for Vecna, about how I shouldn't miss my chance with her or something.
I don't like Nancy like that.
Anyways, Robin has a level five crush on her, so that's strange to even think about.
Ever since Vecna was destroyed, the two of us have been trying to figure out if Wheeler is straight or not.
I've almost convinced Robin to just not give a fuck and ask her out already, but we live in a stupid world and it just doesn't work that way for us.
We do have a small plan though, for the autumn reading break, when Nancy returns home from university for two weeks.
Robin wants to try and subtlety ask her out on a coffee date, which she thinks she can spin into a "strictly platonic" thing if all goes wrong.
I'll also stick around nearby in case she needs a getaway car.
If all goes well, the two of them will be star crossed lovers by the time that Nancy has to fly out again.
Meanwhile, I'll go to work, eat alone, and live vicariously through Robin.
It's really too bad that Nancy can't come to our get together tonight, because the more time that she and Robin spend together, the better.
But she's off at school, getting a degree in journalism.
Robin can't wait until she's back.
Personally, I am so happy that Nancy broke up with Jonathan.
He's changed a lot since our days in high school.
I don't want to say that it's all Argyle's fault, but it's definitely Argyle's fault.
Now, I can't even draw a single similarity between Jonathan and Will.
Speaking of the little punks; Will, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas will all be here tonight.
It's certainly not unexpected, considering the role that Eddie has played in their lives, but I'm surprised that they are all so eager to meet the mystery person as well.
I would have thought that they would have been more cautious about welcoming someone new into the party.
Even Max said that she would show up.
I can feel the envy glowering in my stomach again, but I know that it's unfairly placed.
Since coming out to the group, aside from Eddie, I've gained a new connection with the younger ones.
I'm pretty sure that they almost look up to me as a father figure, which is, in a twisted way, flattering, but I know that if anyone is to threaten my new position, it's Eddie.
And I really don't want him to swoop in and steal them all away from me again.
It would hurt more than anything else.
But there's no point in worrying about things that haven't happened yet.
I make my way up the porch steps and as I do, the overhead light automatically flips on.
Before I even have a chance to knock, a flustered, but cheery Robin flings open the door with a flourish.
"Steve!" she cries. "You made it!"
And she ushers me inside.
