Just Like Before (D-Series Trilogy 01)

16

Ellianna Vanessa's Point of Veiw

YEARS LATER...

Nagpark ako ng kotse ko, I get my flowers, bumaba na ako at dumiretso sa distinasyon ko.

When I finally reached it, I smiled and seat on the grass. I put the flowers beside the grave.

"Happy birthday baby, you happy?" tanong ko, inilibing ko din ang anak ko. I just put some of my baby's ashes on my necklace, while some of them I bury them.

"Are you guiding us? I love you" sabi ko at pinunasan ang luha ko. It's been years since my baby take away from me, from us.

It's still hurt but I'm okay now, it's been three years since I and Kyle separate. I unfollow all his social media accounts, I cut all our connections, I don't want to have connections with him.

I got depressed and have an anxiety when I lose my baby, I need to see an psychiatrist. Until now, I'm visiting my psychiatrist, but I'm much better now, I look at my baby's grave.

Rest in Paradise
Ellianna's Baby, little Chen

Yun na lang ang nilagay ko since hindi naman nalaman ang gender niya. Today is my baby's birthday, my baby should be three years old now.

It should be celebrating with a cake and surprises, but I use to celebrate it with flowers and message with a tears. Our angel, my angel, hindi ko sinabi kay Thunder na nagkaroon kami ng anak.

Para saan pa? Wala na din naman siya diba? Mas mabuting hindi na din niya alam. He already grow us an actor, and universe really had an plan for us.

"Be happy, where you are now, you will always be my baby... you are the reason why I still moving, and I hope you are proud of me, I maybe failed you but I'm doing better..."

I remember what my Papa and Mama told me when I'm suffering in depression and anxiety.

"Anak? Eat, you are really pale now" Papa said but I didn't answer him. It's been months since my baby passed away, I'm always like this, looking from afar and spacing out.

"You can't be like that forever..." sabi ni Papa at umupo sa harap ko. "I wish my baby, will take me too, I want my baby to take me too..." I said and cried again.

Papa held my hand and wipe my tears, but my tears still keep on falling. "Don't say that, you are my only daughter, pag nawala ka parang nawala na din ang buhay namin" Papa said

I still cried, he hug me and comforted me, "I can't go on with my life Papa, my baby is gone, and the person I expected here to be with me is gone, he just put me on his before, not in his after Papa"

Papa just stay still and hug me while im still crying, I can't go on with my life now...

I don't have any inspiration.

"You are my Elly, you are my daughter and you are strong, maybe God have purpose why He take your baby away, Elly you still have reason to move forward"

I look at my father and he just smiled at me, he wipe my tears again. Bumakas naman ang pinto ng kwarto ko, it's Mama.

"Hey, Elly" she said and went to us, she also hug me, they both seat in front of me and held both of my hands "When I'm in your shoe, I was also depressed, but years later when I raised you, I know that you are my life..." Mama said.

"When me and your Papa cross are paths again, there's a hope between the two of us, but universe is controlling us, it always gave us another obstacle to survive..." Mama said and I nodded, listening to her stories.