My Desires

Chapter 8- Karaoke Night

Enzo's POV

I'm trying. I really am but it's too hard.

She just stuck inna mi head everyday. Mi try gym, work, drinking, smoking, even sex and she naah come out a mi head. It coming like waah mosquito a zing zing a yuh ears and yuh cya seet fi kill it.

I'm not saying she's annoying, she's everything but that. But she's all I can think about even in times when she shouldn't be on my mind and when I want to focus but can't.

This cya be good.

I'm always focused, but eva since me meet Allison, I can't seem to be. It only goes away when I'm with her. Just her presence quell my headache of her. Mi nuh know how this possible.

It's not like she can always be with me. I can't have her close to me. Having her in my life is a disadvantage as much as it is an advantage.

I don't want her life to be threatened in any way and I feel like if I continue to be around her that's how it's going to be. I don't want that for her.

But at the same time I just always want to be around her. Her big brown eyes, those beautiful lips, her intoxicating scent of vanilla and Coconut, the innocent beauty just lulls the beast into complacency.

But I can't let my selfishness put her in danger. And I won't. So from now on, I'm going to avoid her as much as possible.

She's usually around whenever her brother is there and she's always trying to be nice and make conversation. She doesn't know what she's doing to me. I'm only letting her go for her own safety, she deserves freedom.

And that's what I've been doing for the past two weeks. Give her freedom. Whenever she comes to visit her brother, I make sure I leave before she arrives. She showed up at my club one night with her friend Natalie and I had to leave before she could see me.

Seeing her stunning face made me want to go back in the club and kiss the life out of her but I didn't. I couldn't be so selfish. She looked so confused that night and seemed as if she was looking for someone.

I know it was me.

Mi really rate Allison and for some reason I hope she feels the same way I do, even if the odds are a million to one and even if she's not suppose to.

Mi neva like somebody suh yet.

I've never felt this way for anyone except her. I've been in some kind of relationships but it feels so different with her and we not even deh.

She just make mi feel like the world isn't all cruel and makes me not want to be bad.

But feeling like that is dangerous especially when you've witnessed the world firsthand.

I don't want my guard to be down at any time and I feel that if I'm around her, that's exactly what would happen.

I don't want her to be used as leverage either. I have a lot of enemies and I've seen them try to use my mother as leverage.

That didn't turn out well for them. I just can't possibly add another person in my life so they could be in danger.

That nuh fair. Especially to Allison.

She has this aura of warm welcome and kindness but I can tell she's also rude. I want to get to know her but that's just a want I hope doesn't turn into a need.

*********

Allison's POV

I have to admit I really like Lorenzo.