My Desires

Chapter 18- Organs (re-edit)

Enzo's POV

Mi couldn't dweet.

The way I feel about her and the innocent look in her eyes didn't allow me to.

She has such a kind heart and I didn't have the courage to break it.

Me being who I am, I've never come across something so hard to let go.

Everything just comes easy.

Except with her.

Mi heart a seh, if mi really rate har mi wouldn't do sum fuckery like that.

Mi brain a seh, if mi really rate har mi wouldn't listen to mi heart and put har inna danger.

How do I know which is telling me the right decision?

I felt Allison turn in my arms and went back to sleep.

I immediately calmed when I remembered the woman who makes me question my decisions was sleeping in my arms.

In this moment I wanted to listen to my heart.

Allison calms me. I forget the darkness I have when I'm with her.

She makes me want to be normal. She's magically done something to me that I can't explain.

But I can't ignore the fact that my brain is always right.

My heart betrayed me many times before but my brain never did.

Does it hurt to take one risk for her? The voice in my head asks.

It does if the risk is her life.

Then I guess this answers your question.

I sighed.

That means listening to my brain.

Jah know. Life really fuck up.

I carefully slipped my hand from beneath her and hastily put on my clothes.

Taking a piece of paper from a book on the nightstand, I grabbed a pen and began writing.

As I wrote the note, regret and distraught shadows me like no other.

Mi wish mi neva haffi do dis.

I placed the note atop her pillow and placed a soft lingering kiss on her forehead.

I quietly left the apartment and went in my car.

This fuckery just get mi pissed off.

I sped out of the complex onto the narrow road.

Right now mi head chip enuh suh just mek a bwoy step to mi and see how mi nuh red up dis muma bumbohole.

*****

I was drinking straight from the Hennessy bottle as I listened to Scissors try to reprimand me.

"How yuh fi guh shoot up dun a Canterbury in a broad daylight and kill all two man?" He yelled.

"Dem did have it coming." I said nonchalantly and downed the last of the liquor.

"We did have a plan!" Right now mi not even give a fuck boh no plan. "Suppose yuh did dead? You one gawn shoot up Canterbury like yuh mek out a pussyclaat iron."

"From a bwoy fuck up eh ting and feel him cuda step to mi, everything just aguh get fuck from desso." I marked and cut up my weed.

"Dat did impulsive and wild." His phone started ringing and he hissed. "Wahm Allison?"