"Sometimes I genuinely just want to give up, like right this instant, because of things that have happened to me. I feel irrational, stupid and horrible. I want to break down and fade out of existence like I never existed: to begin with because I never asked to be or wanted to be brought into this world. I'm a nuisance, a terrible person and bad to others. No one wants me around, nor do I want myself around annoying people and making their day worse."
Is a quite normal and common phrase I say to myself at least once or twice a day, because it genuinely might be true, but I always try to keep hope and find other ways to distract myself from this reality. Honestly, who wants to be in reality anyway? It's quite difficult to find alternatives for distraction, most would go with s/h but I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. Knowing my family, they'd probably yell at me even worse and force me to do other things.
But I like to imagine a world without pain, which is a definite hopeless dream because people will always have a different ideas of perfect to one another but I like to imagine this world. Where everyone is the main character of their own story and everyone has all their ups and downs but they always get a happy ending or are near to a happy ending. It's a little space in my head where I imagine my favourite people and play/joke around with them. Imagining that they were still on planet earth with me or imagining they had actually cared for me. It's kind of pathetic as I'm reading through this, but that's what makes me happy.
Sometimes I like to question people about theirs to know that I cant be the only one
one dream that's always reoccurring is the one in which my mom accepts me as the person I want to be, that's a dream that's sadly out of reach and one that will always stay a dream, but it makes me feel better knowing that maybe, in some universe I did have a completely normal and happy life.
Yes, I do realize that I should stay in reality and face these problems and fix them, but it isn't possible at all times, so just cut me some slack.
/again sorry for the odd chapter out, I was just really out of the mood and had probably one of the worst days ever. It seems like I always just keep falling no matter how hard I try. ;-;
Anyway, how are the rest of you here?
YOU ARE READING
Good reasons to not kys
Non-Fictionhonestly, I made this book to maybe help people who just are in the dumps and need someone to talk to. it was also made to trash my emotional dumps on here and to actually help people unlike some other authors I've seen to just gain popularity. hope...
