Oneshots 'n Shortstories

Covid is a bitch 🎶

Thats some sort of vent one shot. Poem like. Not ship oneshot tho...
I wrote it when i were in isolation with my family.
TW: feeling invalid, unloved, hearing insults not meant for my ears.

Don't understand it wrong, I love my family, I can't live without them, but it got too much at some point:

Its 11pm.
The clock is awefully loud.
My homework is lying next to me on my bed.
I watch my room ceiling.
Tomorrow is school-
But not really.
Corona got me at home.

Let me out.
Let me at school.
Let me to the place I feel save.
Let me to my friends.

I hate it here.

Its silent.
But the silence is too loud.
Music constantly coming out my loudspeaker.
Its geting anoying.
Its getting boring.

Mom ignoring what dad comments do to us.
Dad telling mum how lazy and useless I am.
Sister playing alone in her room.
Just like me. With one diffrence.
Every 10 minutes tearing up.

I don't feel save at home.
I am. Nobody's hurting me. Are they?

Not physically no.

I am a wreck. A mental wreck. Gonna explode every two minutes.
But nobody cares.
Sitting alone in my room.
I hear it. I hear him.

I know I am useless.
I know I am needless.
I know THAT I AM LAZY.
YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL EVERYONE. THEY KNOW.

I know all of that.
But it hurts just a little more to hear it out of your mouth.
I loved you.
I truly did.
Now I miss the old times.

The tenth time today that I cry.
At least I have no toxics in me anymore.
Funny isn't it?
You are sick I know.
You are the only one aren't ya?

Last week with mom you said the opposite.
If you are so sick than either go to the hospital or die!
We are able to handle house on our own.

I am not the only one seeing you as this shitty as you are.
Once you were good.
Once I loved you.
Once.

Once before you forgot, that I am in my god damn puperty- I DO NOT HAVE MOTIVATION. I DO NOT SEE DIRT. I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU NEED TO TELL ME SO I CAN DO IT