Oneshots 'n Shortstories

I can't do this anymore| vent 🎶

TW questioning my life

I am tired of me

I can't do this anymore. But I have to.

I don't want this anymore.
I don't wanna be with my family.
I don't wanna be in my body.
I don't wanna sit at home.
I don't wanna go outside.
I don't wanna only meet my friends in school.
I don't wanna go outside to meet them.
I don't wanna be me anymore.

I am tired of me.
Tired of my lazyness.
Tired of my overenthusiastic self.
Tired of my eyes slowly loosing their glaze.
Tired of my freckles looking CuTe.
Tired of my voice sounding like dying animals.
Tired of my character and tired of my look.

I am sorry for my friends.
I am sorry for being annoying.
I am sorry for being loud.
I am sorry for overreacting.
I am sorry for seeming to extroverted.
I am sorry for interrupting.
I am sorry for being egoistic.
And I am mostly sorry to be like i am.

I am tired.
Of me.
I am tired.
Of being last choice.
I am tired.
Of getting worse.
I am tired.
Of being ignored.
I am tired.
Of searching for attention.
I am tired.
Of myself.

But slmetimes I love.
I love myself.
For my eyes having this shimer.
I love myself.
For caring so much.
I love myself.
For looking nonbinary.
I love myself.
For being extroverted.
I love myself.
For realizing when most people giving up.
I love myself.
For not caring of anything but the person.

I love myself. Sometimes.

And I guess this is ok.
And I guess this should happen more.
And I guess its normal.
And I guess I will get rid of that feeling.
And I guess there are caring people.
And I guess there will always be hope.

There will be hope.
In the world.
In my friends.
In my teachers.
In my love.
In my family.
In my area.
In my heart.

But for now.
The will to live is one of the not very much things keeping me alive.
Keeping me going.
Keeping me going.
Keeping me going.

I wont gove up.
So shouldn't you