His Heart

Chapter seven: Charlie

The next morning, I lay in bed thinking about Sebastian's advice. If you could call it that. It had been seven years. I was ready. But it didn't matter what I thought. I wasn't going to do anything until I had spoken to my kids. 

I stood up and had a shower before dressing. I looked down, I had put my uniform on by habit, I changed and went downstairs. 

"Hey kids." I said, putting the kettle on to make a coffee. 

"Hi Papá." They murmured. 

I sat down, nursing my coffee. 

"Kids, I need to talk to you." I said, softly. 

They looked up at me, and I saw the briefest hint of worry in Maddie's eyes. I wondered what she was thinking. 

"I have given this a lot of thought and I think I'm ready to start dating again." I said, slowly and gently. "But I wanted to talk to you first because you need to know that you two always come first." 

I watched them for their reactions, but they didn't give anything away. 

"I still love your mamá. I always will." I assured them. "But I believe it's possible to love more than one person in your lifetime. I want to be happy again. But this doesn't mean I don't care about Mamá or that I don't love her anymore. She's the love of my life, and she gave me you two. She will always have a special place in my heart." 

The kids were quiet and I swallowed, wondering what they were thinking but not wanting to push them on it. I needed to give them time to think about this. 

"If you have any questions, please ask." I said. "I want to be honest with you two about this. And I want you to feel comfortable sharing your opinions. You come first. You always will." 

"Have you met someone new?" Maddie asked. 

I looked at her, directly, so she knew I was telling the truth. 

"No. I wanted to talk to you guys about it before even thinking about it further." I explained. "And if I do find someone new, I will talk to you about it before doing anything else. I want you two to be involved and have a say about this." 

"Will they be our new mamá?" Leo asked.

"No. Not unless you want them to be." I said. "I will never expect you to call her mamá or love her as much as you love Mamá. If you want to, then that is your choice to make." 

"Do you think you'll get married again?" Maddie asked. "If you met the right person?"

"I don't know." I said truthfully. "But if I ever did consider that, I would talk to you two about it first. I would never do anything like that without involving you first." 

They nodded, but they were still so quiet. I turned to Maddie, who was frowning.

"Maddie? What are you thinking?" I asked, gently. 

She didn't reply for a moment and I wondered if she was remembering her mother. I wondered what she remembered. 

"I think it's great, Papá." She said, slowly. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Sí." She whispered. "You waited a long time. You deserve to be happy." 

I looked at Leo who was still frowning. 

"Lee? What do you think?" 

He stood up and I pulled him into my lap, brushing his curly hair from his face.

"I love Mamá." He said, popping his thumb into his mouth. 

"I know you do. I would never expect you to stop loving Mamá. And I would never expect you to love anyone I date." I told him. "Your mamá is everything to me. And I know she wants us to be happy. So I will only date if it makes you happy."