Why'd you laugh when you were not gonna laugh by my side anymore....
Soobin's pov
I want to sleep again...but I'm afraid to. This world feels so monochromatic without her... It's been maybe 2 months now but now more than ever....I miss her,her presence, her smile, her comfort hugs, her support.... everything about her was just so healing and now I'm left bleeding painfully with no signs of recovering soon.
My eyes feel heavier, I think I'm going to doze off soon, but I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't wa-,I don't-
<A Voice slowly echoes from being faint to audible>
"Soobinie~,Soobinie~,Binnie?", That voice- I opened my eyes slowly and saw her tilting her head, holding two cold drinks in her hand, I wanted to say something but my voice won't come out. I put my hands near my throat trying to feel my voice but it just won't come out.
She patted my head and looked at me with eyes full of love and a warm smile, "Look at you working so hard to the point you're taking naps when I just went to bring drinks for us." She smiled, but that smile was different?it felt sad?Are you ok y/n? Is there something you want to talk about?I wonder... I'm not able to speak, I have realised that by now.
Suddenly the movie starts in front of us as we look at each other and back to the screen, the movie begins with two shadows drifting away as if a dark purple line cut them apart.
That was really weird for the opening sequence of a romance movie, somehow the movie ended in a flash. I don't remember seeing anything in the movie at all it just ended in a flash?? I looked beside me to ask if y/n felt the same but she wasn't there, in fact no one was, I was alone in this theatre.... Had I always been?
Then I look at the time on my analogue watch it's 5:53 pm sharp but suddenly the watch ticks in reverse as if the hands of my watch are broken and in the blink of an eye- There I was!! holding hands with the girl I loved as she was pulling me towards the line that led to the Ferris wheel.
We were munching on our churros as I pulled out my camera to take pictures of her without letting her know, because I know if I say her I'm taking a picture of her she'll try to cover her face or freeze up on spot.
That's why I never inform her when I take pictures of her and let her be as she is because she's the most beautiful person I've met, who looks prettier everytime she's being her natural self.
Well this is my personal reason as I love photography and y/n too.... but the real reason is that...I want to surprise her on her birthday like no one ever has and show her these pictures of her and make her happier.This is the least I can do as her boyfriend right?
I'm not good at drawing to capture her beauty on a piece of paper...nor can I play the guitar to capture her beauty in a harmonious melody. Sounds disappointing but at least I can capture her beauty in my camera! In which I can always preserve our memories in.
We finally got into one of the Gondolas of the Ferris wheel. As I enter I held my hand out to y/n to make her feel comfortable with me. We both were excited as the Ferris wheel started operating.
We both were silent but it wasn't an awkward silence but a silence we wanted to hear and admire the view of the sunset with the pink and orange clouds.
I didn't want to miss this chance of taking another picture of her. I immediately focused my camera at her and-"Did you enjoy today?Were you happy enough to come with me here today?".
I was confused and shocked about why did she ask me those questions when the answer was so obvious. I held her hand and turned her face to look at me and said,"Of course silly. I'm the happiest man alive to take you on a date here today and stay with you forever!! Why would you ask such a silly question you cutie~." And I bopped her nose.
Suddenly tears started flowing from her eyes down her cheek, did I sound too emotional?Or did I hurt her?What did I do wrong?- My thoughts were immediately interrupted as she kissed me on my lips and smiled at me like it was the last time she was ever going to kiss me.
I wiped her tears with my thumb and gave her a smile asking if she was alright? And she replied,"Sorry it's just that I never thought I'd ever be this happy or in fact be happy ever since- Life is funny and short don't you think so? I just was thinking how lucky I am to meet you in this short life and so my tears just decided not to hold back anymore haha."
I gave a small knock on her head and she looked up at me and I scolded her playfully, "You...such a small brain you have and you're worrying about such things when your boyfriend is here?Do you not love me, ahh it feels so bad when your girlfriend prioritizes overthinking over her boyfriend." I dramatically sighed and pouted looking at her.
She laughed for the first time as if she really had no worries, this was the laugh I wanted to hear ever since I had a crush on her some years back and finally...I heard it.
When we got off the Ferris wheel it was already getting late, so we went to a nearby park to sit down and eat the steamed buns we got. We had small talks here and there which might sound silly to anyone walking past us, but it was enough for me to just see her laugh.
It started raining a few minutes later and suddenly y/n rushed out to be drenched in the rain but she was happy. I took out my phone to record her dancing in the rain but she suddenly held my hand and pulled me to join her in the rain.
I refused a bit but after seeing her pout, I lost. I knew I had to join her... So I kept my phone in such a way it was recording us both just dancing in the rain, looking at each other and laughing.
After getting totally drenched in the rain together I gave her my dry coat which I had left beside my phone, before us dancing in the rain. I walked her to her home at around 8:30 pm. She was going towards her door but it felt like she never wanted this day to come to an end and so did I, but there was something more which felt like I shouldn't leave her? but I ignored it thinking that I was just not willing to let her go home after the fun we had the whole day.
Then I reached home, changing into my comfortable clothes, completed eating my dinner and started transferring the photos from my camera to my laptop. I had my phone on silent the whole day and I forgot to turn it off as I reached home. As soon as I completed transferring my photos I immediately opened my phone to send her the video of us dancing in the rain and wishing her a good night and that is when I saw y/n's mom's message.
I dropped my phone after reading what was on my screen....This can't be....I dropped her to her home, I enjoyed the whole day with her and now the shoulder I leaned on has disappeared as I fall into this dark hole of despair.
It was a text from y/n's mom saying y/n had passed away due to some health problems that she had ever since she was a kid, She was supposed to have a surgery the very next day,so why? WHY DID SHE NOT SAY ME??WHY WAS SHE SUFFERING ALONE?Most of all why did she know she was going to go not make it before her surgery...Why did she have her last laugh with me if she knew she wouldn't be able to laugh anymore...
I woke up as I see my room totally untidy with me leaning against the wall and the room being totally dark with the curtains covering my window.
This is why I was afraid of falling asleep...Cause I knew I would see her again as I did for the first time ever... I knew I would again ask her to dance with me one more time in the rain and ask her to stay with me forever one last time.....So many memories fade and dissolve but seeing you in those faded pictures how can those scenes not trap me in that opening sequence?
♡︎♥︎♡︎
