[Your pov]
(Flashback)
How to survive a gaze so soft yet so steadfast? A gaze that makes you forget about the world yet focus your eyes on "your" only world.The look on his eyes which can maybe hold the whole universe yet reflect only my image...such was the glimpse of my lover.
I remember seeing him for the first time at the cafe I was working at, the moment he entered, it felt like the world had frozen in time except for me and him. He was wearing a beige trench coat with a black turtle neck.
He had such a charming aura that I almost forgot about the customer in front of me who spoke me out of my dream "Quite the charm,ain't he? I'd appreciate it if you take my order first though, then you can stare at him as long as you'd like to."
I was really embarrassed and apologised while looking down and then I heard a chuckle, so I immediately tossed my head up to see that HE was laughing at me as well. Oh great there goes my first impression...
As soon as I took the kind lady's order I knew I had to face him and so my tone turned more stern for reasons I don't know of. "Good morning sir, may I know what would you like to order on this beautiful rainy day?", I said with the brightest smile on my face.
"A date with you", he replied blushing and looking at one of the shelves in the cafe. At first I thought it was a drink from the menu and after 3 seconds is when I realised... There never was a drink like that and joined the dots... "Is he asking me out??" I thought to myself and my face was as red as a tomato thinking what to say but I composed myself.
"Sir I believe it's not on the menu unfortunately may I know what else can I get you?" I let out a small smirk, proud of how I replied but he knew better...."Oh that sucks so maybe an Americano with your number if you may?".
I honestly did not see that coming so I just smiled and took his order and just when I thought he'd take a seat to wait for his order he didn't move an inch from the counter and that's when our eyes locked. His eyes were like a clam shell with a black pearl hidden inside in other words mesmerizing, dreamy and never wanting to take your eyes off them.
I was blushing and felt so defeated to look away from him,but he placed his fingers on my chin and made me look at him as he spoke,"You're really cute when you blush you know? Also when does your shift end? I need to tell you something...".
"My shift ends in 5 more minutes we can talk then." I awkwardly chuckled, I think I did see him a few times around the campus but didn't know we would actually talk...and so 5 minutes passed by and so did his Americano arrived. He held his Americano in his one hand and held an umbrella on his other indicating he wanted to share the umbrella as it was raining.
A walk of few minutes felt hours as we walked under the transparent umbrella and our shoulders touching each other's and such was the pleasant silence of the rain hitting our umbrella and our synchronised heart beats.
A few minutes later we walked hand in hand and took rest in a shelter in the nearby park which had it's magical yellow fairy lights on with a few lanterns hanging for decor which felt really comforting. We sat next to each other smiling like fools and holding our hands.
"I love the rain, and I love this ambience so much don't you as well?"I said which looking at the pitter patter of the rain as it hit the ground, but as I couldn't hear an answer from him for a few seconds I turned to look at him, to find him smiling at me like a hopeless romantic.
After I turned to face him he immediately held my face gently like my face was a pillow and landed a kiss on my lips as I was still trying to process what happened, but his lips felt so soft that I couldn't help but just smile...after all this is what I imagined my first kiss to be like...but if anything it was just perfect.
He looked at me after the kiss and said, "Hey! if you love the rain that much I'm ready to be your rain to drench you in my love...so don't tell you love something more than me...cause I love you...I always have since we met."
"Oh so you do remember who I am...", I asked awkwardly. "How can a man ever forget his first love, bun?", He said with his eyes closed due to his smile. That is the nickname I missed all these years...I thought he was someone else cause he looked so different but I'm now sure...that it's him...my friend from years gone by....my first love.
"Where were you for the past... I don't know 7 years? I missed you so much...why didn't you ever tell me you were going for so long?" I was angry yet sad but above all I couldn't hate him. A sudden sound of the thunder startled me and ever since I was a kid it was always Taehyun who'd hug me every time there was a thunder as I would be terrified.
Years passed by and I had grown to hug myself and cry whenever there was a thunder... knowing no one would comfort me. Today after many years, I felt the hands of comfort envelope me as I tried to control my tears and was shaking due to fear. I felt safe....I felt like I could lean on someone....I felt like I could actually not be strong for once..."Thank you..." I sniffled as he hugged me tightly and I held the edge of his coat.
After that day we went on many dates, even in the rainy weather he was my sunshine. We would talk about all the things we did as kids and asked what we did when the other was not around. The talks were so small and silly, but that was us.
It was a rainy date which I, by now loved cause everytime I'd hear the rumbling I knew he'd be there by my side to pat my head and comfort me. We held hands as he walked me home. I didn't want to leave him...but today felt different it felt like I shouldn't have left him at all. I let his soft lips touch my forehead and it has such an effect on me that I couldn't seem to let go of the feeling. He smiled at me one last time and handed me a letter as he left.
[Present time]
I opened the letter after a month after I couldn't reach him.I gulped as I opened the letter, and felt uneasy yet curious at the same time.It was raining outside yet again,but this time I couldn't hear anything but my heartbeat.
My bun,
I hope you're doing well, I'm close to you ever since we were small but not close enough to know when you'll open this letter. I hope you enjoyed today and all your moments with me to make up our time lost.. honestly I don't know how to say it to you but...you need to find someone better not me... I don't deserve you yet here I am not being able to move on from you...I never will.I dearly love you and that will never change but you should open your eyes to reality... I got in an accident when we were returning from our school's trip, it was a rainy day yet again I remember...my last words covered by the sound of the thunder. I remember I regretted not telling you about my true emotions but now even though it's been years, and even though this might be a dream....this is my last time you'll ever hear from me and hear my last words clearly..... I love you my bun...
Your comfort pillow.
The words echoed in my mind as I jolted to wake up...so it really was a dream...I look outside my window and how it was raining and lightning. My tears flowed from my eyes as it all hit me...I now know why I hate the thing I used to love the most...the sound of rain now has a new memory in my mind...yet why would you comfort me once again to leave me again Taehyun...why...I took the photo frame from my table as I looked at our graduation picture together as I traced my hand on his face, "I still miss you when it rains, cause you were my only comfort...my only thing I looked forward to when it rained...You were the reason I used to pray that it would rain...now the rain is here yet you aren't....my tear drops fell in the frame and I spoke,"I couldn't say it to you then and I regret it as well but I love you too Tae...I always had and always will."
♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎
