"Sometimes I just don't understand you". Those words rung in your head as your surroundings slowly faded into oblivion. How does it feel to hear the person who promised you every day that he's the one who gets you, to say he actually never did?
You watched as he slammed your door and left you as a sobbing mess. You thought it was really over, you just rushed to the washroom as you looked at yourself in the mirror, "It's alright, you've been hurt many times and you'll get through it."
You realized those were the words your boyfriend used to say whenever you couldn't bring to be yourself. He entered your life on a random Tuesday to deliver a pizza, little did you know that a pizza could change a person's whole life.
You washed your face as you sat beside your room's window as you looked at the pretty sunset reminiscing everything that happened in the last 5 months.
It was during December when you held a sleepover with your friends when you first met him. You and your friends decided to try some new face masks and order pizza, so when the pizza arrives the loser in a game of rock paper scissors needs to recieve it.
As unfortunate as it may seem of course you had to lose. You waited patiently for the bell to ring as you got up to recieve the pizza. You opened the door while looking down the whole time as you snatched the pizza and closed the door.
You took a seat cursing your friends under your breath as the bell rang again. You rolled your eyes and went to open the door once again to see a tall blonde guy leaning against the door frame as he tries to hold his laughter.
You give him a glare and ask,"What?". He smiles as he removes his cap and bends his knees to reach your height and says,"Ma'am I understand you're a busy person but you do need to pay for the pizza." You were embarrassed, and rushed to grab your wallet and pay him for the pizza.
He smiles once again at you as you see his dimples popping up and puts on his cap. He turns around and says,"That face mask suits you, the panda one would suit you more though." He giggles and leaves.
You were a blushing mess no doubt, but at the same time sad that this will be the only time you get to see him.He was cute after all...
You couldn't accept that. And so you made a decision, every Friday was pizza night. You don't want to eat the pizza? Fine you can give it to your neighbours, in the end you just wanted to see him.
And so you did, ever since that day you ordered pizza every Friday for the next 5 weeks, and held small conversations with him, till he one day asked,"do you have a boyfriend?"
You teased him saying, "maybe I do...or maybe not. We'll never know I feel." The blonde guy's smile disappeared as he made it clear,"You should not toy with anyone's feelings and make your point clear, cause just some words can change a person's whole life."
You panicked and blurted,"I'm sorry it was a joke, I didn't know you'd take it that seriously...". He looked at you and patted your head and asked, "Do you have some time to spare?Can we take a walk?".
You were surprised cause you honestly never expected him to ask you for a walk. You grabbed your jacket and walked with him towards the nearest park. You both sat on the swings looking down and not speaking a word.
He then broke the silence by apologizing first, "I'm sorry for blurting out those words, it's just that...it was because of a past incident that I never bring myself to joke anymore." You looked at him concerned and he looked at the stars as he sighed, "I don't know why I'm saying this to you but, I lost a dear friend of mine a year back and the last time we talked was me joking around him and not letting him speak, if only I could have let him say what he wanted to say maybe we could still be cracking jokes...if only my last words to him weren't "why are you even here" but "are you ok", maybe those simple words could've saved a life."
"Ever since that day I made sure to speak my exact thoughts out and never joke around topics that might hurt others... I'm sorry...". You felt bad, you and him both know it's not your fault yet you really felt how some words can change a whole person's life.
You hugged him, and cried on his shoulders because you felt his pain. It was never his fault also, he was joking around as usual but that joke turned out to be someone's last words. You cupped his face and said, "I understand, we might never know what the last conversation with a person might be so we must always speak our minds out at the moment. Cause sometimes that moment will never return am I right?"
He looked up at you wiping his tears as he smiled,"You exactly got me,but I don't get it why did you cry for me? You didn't lose anyone close to you, neither did you ever say such hurtful things- "Dumbass, can't you see it's because I LOVE YOU."
He was taken aback by your sudden confession that he just blankly stared at you, "You said to speak you heart out before a given moment fades away right? So yes, you.CHOI SOOBIN.BE MINE."
Soobin was just blushing at this point and looked at his shoes and asked,"how did you know my name...", You cupped his face as you made him look at you and said,"As if I'll order pizzas every Friday to not even know my future boyfriend's name... it clearly says so in your tag."
Soobin wants to just bury his face but he looks at you through his bangs and says,"So you really didn't have a boyfriend, so why did you mess with my head." You laughed nervously and took some steps back and were about to sprint as he held you back and made you face him and gave a small, gentle peck down your lips.
You opened your eyes as you remembered that day and looked down the window as it had already turned dark, you knew he was the one who made you happy,but now will you actually be ok if you let go of him...
You were in your thoughts as the room to your door slightly opened and your eyes widened as you saw your golden retriever boyfriend peeking his head through the door and looked at you.
He slowly walked towards you and held your hand as he looked you in the eyes and said,"I'm really sorry,My college exams have been stressing me out and in that process I hurt you, I never meant to say I don't get you, I was pissed at my myself for not being able to understand you lately but the way I spoke it felt like it was your fault. I realised it when I slammed the door and went to get your favourite cake but I saw you sad by the window so believe me or not it took me 2 hours to gather the courage to face you, I'm so sorry.", Soobin was on the verge of tears.
You felt bad thinking he'd ever try to leave you, you got him closer and hugged him real tight so you could convey that you were ok, you both are ok and will be.You wiped his tears and smiled and asked,"so shall we have that cake now?". He smiled and nodded his head as you both walked towards the window where you both could share the cake and your thoughts.
