Baby?

Chapter 18

Well, after updating chapter 17 I realized I'd already posted it so yeah, I guess instead of messing with you I'll just write you a new chapter. Please help me out with ideas, no hate, school and my mom are just being a crazy.
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Chapter 18

I didn't say anymore, I just took a few breaths and looked over at Peeta. In the blonde boys blue eyes I could see his pain, sadness. They had what he wanted, they had a baby. The one thing I wanted to give Peeta so bad but just couldn't. I take a step towards him and wrap him in my arms and rest my head on his upper chest. I know that as Johanna and Gale begin to receive everything for their baby, like a crib, clothes, toys, it'll just be like rubbing it in Peeta's face. But even I knew he would hide that behind a smile, he would be happy for them even though he had what was all he wanted from me.
I just couldn't give it to him.

•••

Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. Months until we had been stuck bellow ground for almost three months, watching as Dendrite threatened to kill off children and their families until we were found. Watching the assassinations weren't even the worst, the nightmares would haunt my mind from the moment I fell into sleep until I awoke caressed in Peeta's loving arms. They were usually about Dendrite finding us in District zero, taking Peeta and even going to the extremes of killing him in front of my eyes and later taking me away to be tortured. It was terrible and I didn't know how much longer I could take it. I would watch as Johanna grew in size and Peeta and I shrank from the lack of food. I wanted him to be okay. I wanted my dreams of our family to be real, but they weren't and the won't ever be.

I don't think I've seen the sun or even the look of a flower in almost two weeks. We were no longer aloud to go above ground unless we wished to risk our lives. I made Peeta promise to not go above ground, to never leave unless it was safe. He promised.
"President" Dendrite recently declared the law that every citizen of Panem must have and carry an Identification card with them. They state:
Your name.
Your birthdate.
Your picture.
Your occupation.
And stamped across them all was in big bold red letters, your district.
Peeta and I held fake ones close for the sake of our safety. On them we had fake names, fake birth dates, fake photos, and even fake occupations. Stamped across ours read DISTRICT 2. I no longer felt like myself, I felt trapped, insane, and lost. I begged that we receive more food for whenever I saw Peeta's body I wanted to cry. The food supply had been limited to one meal a day except for Johanna and Gale who received three meals due to the baby. At one point Peeta and I almost tried for a child but neither of us had the energy for such thing anymore, we just couldn't.

••••

I shoot awake in the middle of the night, blankets flying from being held very close to my face. I'd heard something and I knew I had.
"Peeta?" I turn towards the sleeping boy, he seemed at peace. I wish I could just cuddle up to him.
I hear it again.
The sound was ever familiar.
Muffled yelling.
Shouts.
Screams.
Feet pounding.
Gun shots.
Gun shots.
"Peeta!" I begin to shake him.
The sounds were getting louder and closer and Peeta was slowly waking up.
I turn towards the only entrance to the small room, the small wooden door I could hear banging on.
"Peeta please! Please we need to get-" a large crack erupts and the door is broken and within seconds I feel a searing pain in my left shoulder and everything is black
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Ya know what? Im not even gonna say anything because I'm pretty sure you're all going to want me dead now.

~Avalon Parker