12. Pretending Is For The Better

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"Why oh why, did it take you so long to finally understand, that I had been living in a family of bullies? Why did it take you leaving and coming back, to understand, that you were the ones that ruined my childhood, but I put it to bed, got hurt m...

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"Why oh why, did it take you so long to finally understand, that I had been living in a family of bullies? Why did it take you leaving and coming back, to understand, that you were the ones that ruined my childhood, but I put it to bed, got hurt more, and now you want to be my best friend? You can't just buy something you never had"

Dread crept into my stomach the moment the lunch bell rang. I knew that it was nearing the end of the school day, and that I would be facing them all at home, after avoiding them for an entire weekend. Noah and Luke had been back to the house every few hours, but that was it. That wasn't enough to make me go back. 

The Martinez's hadn't minded, but there was clear distaste towards James' being there, and all he wanted to do was be next door with my sister. But, that wasn't what was bothering me now. What was bothering me, was walking through the doors, to the truth that had been revealed to me this morning. 

Layla had done what Marley had wanted, and stopped disgracing her name by sitting with us, and chose to sit with Marley and her group of friends. She sat down the end, with the younger girls that were most of our age, and had completely ignored Oliver and I. Well, mainly me, for the most part. Oliver hadn't really liked her, so it wasn't much different when we climbed out of the car, right next to Noah's, and hadn't even batted an eye to the girl that looked at me, with a look of longing, before she was pulled away. 

I didn't want to walk in there, when I knew they would be talking about me, like they always did, except Layla could, for the first time, add to the fire. She was supposed to be my best friend, but I guess this was just something else that I had ruined. "Hey, so, I've been thinking, we grab food, then run and sit outside. It's a nice day" it wasn't a good day. 

It was overcast and looked ready to rain, which had just soured my mood, meaning I couldn't escape to the beach while they had the house. I really wished now, that we had bought the smaller house, but it had a granny flat attached to the back of it. It would have been really handy, but I never would have lived next door to my fire exit escape. 

"Sure" I muttered, trailing after Oliver, who had found me dawdling outside my math class, before dragging me to the line to get food. Our only problem with the plan, was that the line was extra long today, meaning I had to hide myself by turning away from the whispers that were going around the school about my brothers and sister returning. 

Ever since our parents had died, my family had been the talk of the town. How a 16 year old took on the large family that our parents had created, was all over headlines of the newspapers for years. It eventually went away, a few years later, but it was only for a short time. That time, was bliss. It was the first time I was able to make friends, hence why I had become friends with Layla, but by the time I could make more, my family was back circulating the papers. 

How Riley was the greatest man in our family, by now devoting himself to the army and military, while on the other hand, we were being shunned for creating an alcoholic. 'That's what happens when you have so many kids' was the response people shouted at us, as we walked out our driveway, or in Summer's terms, she would have strutted so people could get photos of her, and only her. It was a real shame she never became a model. 

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