Taken (Spy x Family)

Insane

I grew up in a rich family with servants and some siblings that were younger than me. All my life, I've had everyone do things for me. People called me selfish, and they were right. I've rarely done things for others and rarely thought about others peoples feelings except for my own. I wanted to change that.

Loid has done so much for me... I don't deserve it, nothing at all. Even when he's mad at me, he still cares about how I'm feeling. I wanted to do that... be like him. I want to do things for him that he does for me.

Killing my brother was never on my to do list in life, but neither was falling in love with Loid. I don't know if Loid realizes this, but I killed my brother for him. However, it's not enough. We're not safe. Not if she still exists...

There's a conversation I couldn't get out of my head. It kept replaying in my head over and over again.

"If you don't have a phone then how can I contact you? Where can I find you?"

"You don't... but I'll let you in on a little secret if you ever become desperate. I'm always watching, (Y/N). If you're ever looking for me, I'll know."

That drove me fucking crazy... I couldn't just sit in my bed all day anymore.

I rinsed off and put some makeup on to hide how mentally ill I felt on the inside.

I didn't want Loid to know where I was going or what I was trying to do, I couldn't just wear a dress and not expect him to question me. So I threw on the same red dress that I wore to the bar when I first met Loid. It felt right. I threw sweat pants and a sweat shirt over it and I wasn't sure what to do with my heels yet. I needed to check if Loid was in his room so I could just leave without him noticing.

I walked out and saw Loid come out at the same time as me, wearing his olive green suit and his glasses. He was carrying a bag with him.

He must be leaving. Good.

"You're up," Loid says to me with a confused look.

"Y-Yeah, I'm gonna go on a walk for a bit... clear my head," I said nervously, afraid he'd question me.

"Okay... that sounds good for you," he said softly, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I had to confirm how long he was going to be gone. I needed to see how much time I had.

"W-Where are you going?" I asked quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.

Loid raised up his bag and shrugged, "I got called in for a mission, I'll be gone for most of the night..."

I crossed my arms and nodded my head.

"Okay," I said bluntly, trying to act normal.

This was good. I have all night to do this...

"See you when I get back?" he said as he opened the door.

Yes... you will. And then we can move forward from everything. We can start fresh.