Not so cold

Chapter 18

One more time

This time we are both avoiding each other. I was humiliated that she fucks me and then makes me leave the way she did. What a bitch. But what did I expect ?

During meals, I don't look at her and talk with the others as if nothing happened. This time I will not get back to her like a lost puppy. I mean why did she fuck me if it's for reacting like that ? Guess she needed a distraction. Well I'm not a toy. We will not do this again.

For three days straight I didn't look at her, not even once. But sometimes, I felt like someone was looking at me and since it's not the other person around the table, it can only be her. But even though she looks at me, I continue to avoid her. I even laugh a little too much when someone makes a joke to piss her off and show her I don't care. Well, acting like this prove that I don't exactly don't really care but she just needs to believe it.

An evening, after dinner I headed towards the library and I read. But I missed curfew of a minute. A single minute but it was enough for Ms Venable to punish me. She yells at me, saying that I'm careless, I don't learn and that she'll make me learn. Even if I tried to defend myself it just makes her angrier.
And I think, the first reason she is angry, was not the fact that I was late for the curfew but more the tensed atmosphere between us and the fact that I seem more happy than not, and I grew closer to Coco.
By the way she is not that superficial, she is really nice and caring, always asking me how i'm doing.

And I guess that's what make me standing here, in the center of her room.

" Bend on the desk " she says sternly

" What ? No, I will not do such a thing "

" You are not in position of control here. This is your punishment so now do it !" she says raising her voice

" You want to humiliate me. You like to do this, you like to torture people physically but also mentally! Don't worry it already was a humiliation to be fucked by you "

Her face twitches and if she wasn't a cold bitch, i would have swear that I saw hurt in her eyes for a split second.

She comes to me, grab my throat and make me walk to the desk, she then turns me around and makes me bend on it.

" If I already humiliate you, why not one more time ?" and as the last word escape her mouth i feel a sharp pain in my ass.

She canes me. She doesn't even ask me to count. She is so mad that she hits and hits again, harder every time. She puts all her anger in it, making sure to hurt me.
I guess I will not sit for a week.
The pain is unbearable and my eyes are glistening with tears in it. I do my best not to cry but at one point, a single tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away to be sure she doesn't see it and take pleasure from it.

Eventually she stops caning me. I stand up again, facing her. She sees my face, with my eyes still wet. She seems very satisfied of herself but there is something else on her face that I can't name.

She approaches me and doesn't say anything. She just looks at me and I do the same. Her eyes are really hypnotizing. I can smell a perfume, a strong perfume with lavender in it of course. I can also feel her warm breath on my face but I don't look at her lips. A seconde later, she puts those wonderful lips on mine, I didn't move at first but then I reciprocate the kiss until my brain start to function again. This. This is wrong.
I pull away, look at her and leave. I can't bear this humiliation and I can't let her disrespect me that way.

She hurts me and humiliate me and then she kisses me. What type of psychopath does that ?

I go straight to my bed, laying on my stomach of course. Me, Y/N Y/L/N who doesn't like to get emotionally involved, let a few tears roll down my cheeks. I don't exactly know why but it has something to do with this humiliation and this kiss.
And my brain starts to replay the kiss all over again, making me feel more anxious.
At one point, I leave my room, discreetly to avoid any encounter with Ms Mead past curfew because I can't take another punishment. I go to the library, the only place where I can clear my mind. I go and sit between two bookshelves, against a wall to feel safer I guess.

And after a moment, I hear the oh so familiar sound of her cane and the clicking of her heels.
And I think, oh shit she will kill me this time.