Astonishing Us

XLVIII

RIDGE

Holding Aether's hand. I was sitting beside her in her hospital bed, she's finally asleep after crying for almost three hours.

I feel guilty because when I arrived at the hospital she was sobbing, crying and not wanting anyone to console her but me, I left out of anger, I let my emotions take over again without thinking about Aether.

I kissed the back of her palm as I looked at the door of her private room, I rented for her. I looked down at the tiled floor when her family entered. I cleared my throat and stood up to bow my head and excuse myself.

I was about to get out of the room when Paps, Aether's grandfather held my wrist and silently pulled me into a hug, and just by that tear welled up my eyes again.

"I know it is also hard for you, son. Shhh, it's fine." Uncle Eichong told me as he caressed my back together with his dad.

I cannot hold it any longer as sobs freely escaped my lips as I hugged Paps back.

"I wasn't able to save her and our kid at the right time, I feel so useless, Paps. I feel so weak... so useless... I wasn't able to keep her safe..." I broke down in tears with my broken baritone voice hugging her grandfather afraid I'll fall on the ground kneeling on the floor.

"You did your best, Son. Please... Don't cry..."

I PUSHED AETHER's wheelchair inside the modern newly built house. This is the safest place we could live. Inside the Montegara's land in Santorini, Greece. I saw her roam her eyes around the place. She was hospitalized for almost six months; she's not talking to anyone— no more like she had forgotten how to speak and it is frustrating her as she doesn't want to see anyone except for me.

I told her family my plan about taking her to Greece with me and promised to continue her medication until she is able to speak again.

I feel like each day I'm melting like a candle, to see her crying when a nurse is trying to get near her, to see the fear in her eyes when a doctor will come inside her room, to hear the fear and pain in her voice that I have been missing to hear laughing and calling my name. It's painful, exhausting and everything but I cannot break down again, not right now that I know I am what she needs and what she only wants.

"Are you hungry, bubbles?" I asked as I kneeled in front of her.

I was taken aback when she stretched her arm to touch and caress my cheeks, and then she wiped something off under my eyes. She looked at me with worry in her eyes that made me shake my head immediately.

"Napuwing lang, Bubbles. I'm fine. I will cook then we will eat before I tour you around our new home," pilit ang ngiti sa mga labi kong sabi ko sa kaniya at pumunta na sa likuran niya para itulak ang wheelchair niya patungo sa kusina.

"Do you want me to sing while I cook, Bubbles? What song do you want? You want Angel brought me here or the, I promise you?" Pakausap ko sa kaniya at hindi mapigilan ang mapakla kong ngiti ng wala pa ding sagot ang nakuha ko sa kaniya. She just turned her head at me, to look at me, habang ang mga mata niya ay nangungusap habang nakatingin sa akin.

"Angel brought me here then!" Pilit kong pagpapasigla sa boses ko at pagpili sa kantang kakantahin ko. Hindi ko na din kasi siguro kayang kantahin pa para sa kaniya ang 'I promise you' because I wasn't able to protect her from anyone who tried to hurt her before, even me, I'd hurt her.

I KISSED her temple as she sits on the hammock in the veranda facing the Aegean Sea. I chose this part of the land because it is the nearest part of the Montegara's land to the Aegean Sea. She looked up at me and for the first time in seven months she smiled at me that literally weakened my knees, my knees dropped on the floor as my sight went cloudy in happiness.

She smiled. She finally smiled ever since that day she woke up in the hospital and found out we've lost our child.

"Bubbles..." I mumbled as I reached her face and caressed it with my thumb.

"Damn, Bubbles, that's right, keep smiling, okay? Just continue smiling and don't ever lose your smile again please? Please, Bubbles? Continue smiling for me. I missed that so damn much; I love you so much!" I showered her hand with kisses and my heart skipped a beat when her eyes glimmered as she looked at me.

Simple reaction, simple smile yet it feels like a new set of strength for me, I feel stronger as I felt another set of stronger courage to wake up every day.

I started to feel alive again as the life and smile started to resurface her gorgeous face again.

She nodded her head and that is the first time too for the six months after the traumatic incident that she responded to my words.

I cried. For the six months I have been a crybaby, I cried in happiness.

I pulled her into a tight hug.

I CLOSED THE GLASS DOOR that is separating the veranda to the living room on the second floor when I saw dad. I took a quick glance at Aether who's looking at the Aegean Sea silently before facing dad.

"Dad," I called him.

"Kumusta kayo dito? Ni hindi kayo lumalabas mag iisang linggo na kayo dito okay lang ba kayo?"

Napangiti ako ng maliit sa pagtatagalog niya. Tumango ako at tinignan si Aether mula sa glass door.

"We're fine dad. She's finally responding," sagot ko.

"Your cousins are worried about you, we're hoping we could spend your second anniversary with you guys," he said, which erased my smile.

Our anniversary is in two weeks. No way Aether could be fine by that time.

"She's doing well dad. But she still dislikes being surrounded by other people, even by her family," I smiled sadly at Dad when I remembered Aether and I spending Christmas and New year inside her private hospital room alone.

"I'm not thinking about celebrating anything yet until she's fully recovered. Her recovery is what I could think of as the moment dad. Salamat sa pangangamusta."

Dad nodded his head at me with a small smile that didn't reach his emerald eyes, "just always remember we're here son, we are always here," he tapped my shoulder before excusing himself, dad turned his back when we both stilled when we heard the glass door opened followed by a soft trembling voice.

"H-Hello, Tito..."

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THENAUGHTYGRAY