This is what you missed last week on Shameless. It was a great episode. Think you can loan me a couple bills? I can pay you for a job. Fiona would be pissed if she knew you were into this shit with me. Are you screwing my sister's boyfriend? Hey, Mom, me and Chip are going to swing by the hospital. Oh, this is... Debbie Gallagher. Nice to meet you, Jimmy. Are you going to tell Fiona? I saw a really cool pink vest. I like to think of it as a peace offering. Somebody bought Mr. Harris' house? Steve. Fiona's a good girl. I've known her a long time. Drive carefully. Congratulations, Ian. You are not Frank Gallagher's son. But my father's a close relative. Most likely one of your brothers. If you love us, you'll leave Liam. Take your girlfriend, get in your truck and never come back. I've been reading more about this Purity Ball thing.
You need to be honest as you can, It's okay, sweetheart.
I started having oral sex... orgy... naked body... black strap-on dildo... You whore! He humiliated me! Get out! Get out! ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ ♪ What is this downside ♪ ♪ That you speak of? ♪ ♪ What is this feeling ♪ ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ ♪ You were willing once before ♪ ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ ♪ What is this downside ♪ ♪ That you speak of? ♪ ♪ What is this feeling ♪ ♪ You're so... ♪ ♪ Sure of? ♪ STEVE: It's good. All right, can you do this? Oh, that's easy. (chuckles) Can you wiggle your ears? Oh, my God. But slightly, right? Slightly? Yeah, I think... I think I can. I said wiggle your ears, not shit your pants. (both laughing) You want to see me make a mangina? Oh, that's sexy, but I'll pass. I can put my ankle behind my head and sing "The Star Spangled Banner." Okay. Does it have to be our national anthem? What else would it be? ♪ Oh say can you see ♪ This is great. ♪ By the dawn's ♪ Whoa! ♪ Early light ♪ (chuckles) ♪ What so proudly we hailed at... ♪ Am I going to have to learn how to do that when I start having sex? This has nothing to do with sex. Then it's even weirder. What are you doing in here? You're supposed to be at my classroom moms' meeting in 40 minutes. Since when? Since Mom promised to go before she left us again. Oh, God, Debs, please don't make me do this. I know you don't like those meetings. That's why I never tell you about them. Are the meetings really that bad? It's the women from the neighborhood. All they do is talk about their husbands and their jobs and their dental plans. You know, maybe you should just show them your special k*ll.
(both laughing) The Snob Mob always makes fun of me for not having a parent there. So when Mom came back, I signed her up. What's the Snob Mob? The name speaks for itself. And their moms aren't much nicer. They're expecting a grown-up to help with the decorations. It's only this one time. I won't sign you up again. I promise. Fine. Yes! Let me make some coffee first. Okay. (sighs) What? You tell her the truth yet, Jimmy? Soon. You better. FIONA: Have a good day at work, dear. You satisfied? I just can't believe it. Hey, you win some, you lose some. What does she see in him? Ass, gas and cash. Did you see his Porsche? Fiona's not like that. Face it, women think with their vaginas. Now let's vamonos. We'll find you another skanky hood girl to obsess about. (engine starts) Snob Mob says it's not fair that I get to go to all the class parties and stuff, even though we don't contribute. You can't listen to those bitches, Debs. No. You have to look nice. There's a hole in it. Well, that's gonna cut out half my wardrobe. Maybe the boys have something I can wear. ♪ ♪ Stop downloading p*rn. Oops, busted. I need a sweater. Help yourself. What are you guys doing? We're looking for homeboy's dad. He's looking for homeboy's dad. LIP: Jesus. There are a lot of Gallaghers. Hey, Fiona, do you know any of Frank's brothers' names? Shit, I have no idea. Oh, I think one of them's Wendell or something. I suppose I could just start calling them all. What do you care, anyway? He just wishes it was him that wasn't Frank's kid. Plus, you know, if we find Ian's real dad, you know, maybe he'll give us some cash or we could report his name to the state and collect extra child support. Then I'd have to hang out with the dude. He might be cool. Ha, Frank's brother? He's got to be better than Frank, right? I mean, maybe he has a job or he's sober or he likes kids. Doubt it. Oh, hey, how about this one, Debs? It'll have to do. Now go. Come on. Oh, take the bus out to see Grammy. She'll know where the brothers are. WOMAN: Hi. Fiona, right? Yeah. Debbie said I should expect you. I'm Jasmine Hollander. I live over on South Bishop. I remember you from the neighborhood. You used to babysit my friend Beth Souza. JASMINE: Right! Um, okay, well, let me get you started. Look who just showed up. We're making decorations for the kids' St. Patty's Day party tomorrow. Okay. Uh, okay, why don't you take a seat right there, and I'll bring you some construction paper. Okay? Hi, Fiona. Long time no see. Yeah. So what rate did you guys end up getting? Eve's refinancing her home. Four and a half percent for 15 years. Your monthly must be outrageous. Peter wants to pay the house off sooner than later. Should have gone for a 30. That's what we have. Rates would be higher. But your payments would have been lower. Peter has a head for numbers. We'll be okay. I'd be worried that the rail lines are going to have layoffs again. Aren't you? I guess I am now. Must be nice not to own a home and have to deal with this stuff. Yeah. It gives me more time to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. (roaring and snarling) ♪ Ta-ra-ra ♪ ♪ Boom-de-ay ♪ ♪ I'm getting some cash today ♪ ♪ I don't care what you say ♪ ♪ Just stay the f*ck out of my way. ♪ Die, locust scum! (groans) Oh, mail's not here yet. Any minute, usually. Oh! Ooh! Ooh! What are you kids doing home? Budget cuts. Eat my ass! We have every other Friday off. Shouldn't someone be watching you? We're latchkey kids. Right. (chuckling) "Dear, Mr. Gallagher... "Effective immediately, "your Illinois State Workers' Compensation has been terminated"?! No...! (dog whines) (shout continues) (train whistle blowing) Karen. (train cars rattling) (muffled heavy metal playing) (music grows louder) Hello! Karen? Yo. Hello, hello, hello. Karen... f*ck! You scared me, Lip. Sorry. Your mom let me in. (lowers volume) What are you doing? I just... I haven't seen you in school in a couple days. Been busy. Yeah, I can see that. I like the, uh, what do you call it... the nose, chain ring... thing, it's, uh... Me and Ian were going to go visit my grandmother. You want to come? No. Okay. (mechanical laughter) Found out, uh, Frank's not Ian's dad? Lucky him. Yeah. We might try to go find his real one. Why? All dads are assholes. Well, come with us. We'll hit up the White Castle after. It's got to be better than hanging around here all day being angry at your dad. I'm not angry at my dad. Well, it, uh... kind of, uh... It seems like you are. Why would I be angry at my dad? I don't know, 'cause of, uh, the stupid Purity Ball thing? Are you kidding me? I'm fine. I'm just glad that my dad's not around anymore to call me a whore! All right, whatever. What's that supposed to mean? You're going to analyze me now, like you don't have enough problems of your own? Whoa, whoa, no, I-I just don't understand why you give a shit about what your dad has to say.
