Consider Yourself Lucky

Twenty-Three

I had a dream that I was in a delivery room. Collin and Grandma were there. There were nurses swarming around me and a cold cloth on my head. My legs are up and I'm pushing with all the strength I have.

"She's here! A beautiful baby girl!"

I woke up to my phone ringing. I don't recognize the number, but I was expecting that just in case it's the clinic. I clear my throat and answer the phone.

"Hello, Adelaide speaking."

"Good morning, Adelaide. This is Rachel from the clinic."

"Yes, are my results in?"

"They are. Congratulations, you're pregnant." It's real. I am really carrying a child. I put my hand on my stomach and just hold it there.

"Thank you so much. Do I schedule any further appointments through you guys or do I have to go somewhere else?"

"That is entirely up to you. We do offer ultrasounds and prenatal care but if there is another place you would prefer you can always give their OBGYN office a call."

"I would like to stay a patient at the clinic please."

"Okay, great. We can schedule an appointment for next Tuesday at ten-thirty if that works for you. It will include a consultation with one of our OB's and an ultrasound to see exactly how far along you are."

"Sounds great, I'm looking forward to it."

"Wonderful. Congratulations again and we will see you on Tuesday."

"Thanks a bunch." I hang up the phone and run downstairs to tell Grandma. She must have heard me talking because she's already waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"It's official, I'm definitely pregnant!"

"Oh honey, I'm so happy for you. Not to ruin the moment or anything but, have you figured out what you want to tell Collin?" I actually haven't. I don't think this is the kind of news you would want to receive over text.

"I think I'm going to take a ride over to the flower shop. I want to tell him in person."

"That's very mature of you. I'm proud." She smiles at me and kisses my forehead. She puts her hand on my belly.

"I hope you are exactly like your mother." Me, a mother. So weird to think about it. I grab my keys and head to the flower shop.

When I pull up to the store, Collin's car is in his designated parking spot. He notices me getting out of my car and walk towards the store. I have the positive tests in my purse. I walk in and it looks like he can't believe what he's seeing. He opens his mouth to say something, but I speak first.

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I was a bitch and whether you deserved that or not I'm still on the fence about. However, I'm not here to talk about that. I know it might be wrong of me to just show up here after not acknowledging you for so long, but I just needed to talk to you." He steps out from behind the counter.

"Addy, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do. If you could please just-"

"Collin. I don't want to talk about that." I go into my purse and pull out the tests. His eyes get wide, and he looks at me in shock. "I'm pregnant. I already got blood work done to make sure the tests weren't duds. The clinic called with my results right before I came here." He takes a step towards me, and I don't step back. He's staring at my stomach but still hasn't said anything. "If you don't want to be involved, I understand, I just wanted to let you know because it's your child too."

"Addy, I one hundred percent want to be involved. I've always wanted to be a dad; I just never knew it would be this soon. That's only if you want to keep it. I definitely will not force you into keeping a child you don't want, especially with how things ended with us."

"I plan on keeping this baby, yes. I was nervous at first and to be honest I am terrified for what's to come but I am also very excited and honored to be able to create something so beautiful, regardless of where we stand. I have an appointment next Tuesday at ten-thirty and you are welcome to come along if you'd like. I want for us to be able to have a healthy co-parenting relationship for our son or daughter. It's not their fault we didn't work out." He walks closer to me.

"May I?" He gestures to touch my belly.

"Yeah, sure." He puts his hand on my stomach and I don't know if it's nausea or not, but I feel butterflies all throughout my body. His touch is warm, and I close my eyes as he leans closer. Our foreheads are touching, and the smell of his breath is giving me flashbacks of the night our child was conceived. I feel tears starting to swell in my eyes. I didn't know coming here was going to bring back feelings. I miss him. I miss him so damn much. He notices the tears and steps back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just wanted to feel closer to the baby." His eyes seem so sincere and apologetic. Without even thinking, I throw my arms around him, and my lips somehow connect to his. I thought he would have pulled away, but he doesn't. Instead, he pulls me closer and continues to kiss me. He picks me up and carries me to the back of the store. There are no customers, and it doesn't look like there will be any for a while. He brings me into a room in the back which seems like his office. He sits me down on his desk and I look at him with hungry eyes. These pregnancy hormones are no joke. I want him. Right. Now. He closes the door and locks it. I already start stripping myself as he walks towards me. My boobs are out and exposed. He grabs one of my breasts and starts licking my nipple. Which have gotten darker by the way. As he swirls his tongue all around my areola, I throw my head back in pure satisfaction. I shove my hand down his pants and he's as hard as a brick. Just the way I want it. I stroke him until he groans with complete passion. He pulls my pants down and moves my panties to the side. He turns me around and bends me over his desk.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks. More than anything.

"Give it to me. I want it." He slides himself in and it feels so good. He thrusts slowly and with such caution as if I'm as delicate as the flowers he handles on a daily basis. I moan just a little bit and move my arm underneath my body to touch myself. It must have turned him on even more because he takes it out and rams himself back inside me.

"Oh, fuck. Don't stop. Please don't stop." He keeps going, harder and faster. The louder my moans are the better it feels. My legs start to shake, and he grabs my hips tighter to let me know he finished too. He hands me some paper towels from the table next to us. I don't regret this one bit. That was even better than last time.

"I finished inside you. I'm sorry, it just came out and I couldn't stop it."

"The damage is done already. You're good." We smile at each other and for once, since the last time I saw him. I feel okay.