Consider Yourself Lucky

Twenty-Eight

I am in complete and utter shock. What the fuck. What the absolute fuck is this? I don't know how to feel. My head is spinning, and my body is going numb. No, this can't be my mom. My mom died when I was little. That's what Grandma said. She told me that. She would never lie to me.

"Somebody better start explaining right now before I lose my shit." My mother takes another step towards me, and I take a couple steps back.

"Adelaide, please understand where I'm coming from."

"Then start explaining, because last I knew you were dead. The only place I would think you came from would be back from the dead." I need to sit. I feel like I'm about to pass out. I take a seat on the bed that I claimed when Collin and I first got here. Collin grabs a water bottle from the mini fridge that sits under the TV. He hands it to me, and I take a big gulp. My mom sits across from me on the other bed with her hands together in her lap, waiting for me to be calm enough to start talking.

"I'm going to start from the beginning, but I need you to keep all your questions to yourself until I finish, okay?" I nod my head.

"I met this guy when I was sixteen. He was a couple years older than me, but I didn't care. I would sneak out to see him, we would go to parties even though I was underaged. He was the bad boy, and I was the good girl that did nothing wrong, until I met him. Your grandmother would find out that I was sneaking out after curfew and lie about where I was going. At one point, she even moved her bed into the living room to be able to see if I was going out the front door. She tried to stop me from seeing him, but I refused. I told her it was my life, and I could live it however I wanted. After a couple months, I moved out so I could be with him without her telling me no. We lived in a small apartment on the outskirts of town and your grandmother wouldn't dare come near. Everything between him and I were so good. Until he started drinking. I dropped out of school because he didn't want me to be around other people, I stopped hanging out with my other friends because he thought it was taking too much time away from us being together. It was just him and I cooped up in that little apartment. The more he drank the more aggressive he got towards me. It started with a little push here and a slap on the wrist there. He would find the smallest things to get angry about. He came home from work one day and I was in the middle of washing the dishes. He came up behind me and smacked my ass which usually meant he wanted to get some. Well, when he did that, the plate that I was washing had slipped out of my hands and broke. There were shards of glass all in the sink. He slapped me in the face for breaking the plate even though it wasn't my fault. I started crying and he slapped me again but even harder. As the days went on, the worse it got. After about a year of dealing with his mood swings and anger issues and drinking, I got the courage to leave. My plan was to wait until he left for work the next day, pack up what little stuff I had, and leave. I was so eager to go through with this plan. Until I started feeling really sick. I couldn't remember when my last period was, but I texted one of my friends in secret to bring me a pregnancy test. She dropped it off at my door and I took it that night when he was sleeping. I broke down crying when I saw the two lines pop up. What was I supposed to do now? I refused to go back home to your grandmother because I didn't want her to be right. I hid the test in one of my drawers so that he wouldn't find it. I planned on telling him eventually but just not right now. If this was how he treated me now, I could only imagine how he would be if he knew I got pregnant. I was still so young, and most clinics didn't provide prenatal care for minors without parental consent. I backed out of leaving that next day because how was I supposed to care for you on my own? I didn't have the slightest clue about raising a child. It was a couple days after I found out that I was pregnant, and I was having really bad stomach pains. I didn't know what was wrong, but I could barely move. When I first told him I needed to go to the hospital he told me no and that I would be fine. It wasn't until hours later of the pain still being so bad that he agreed to bring me. When I got there, they asked how long it's been hurting and if I was pregnant or not. I knew I was, but I didn't want to tell them yes because I still hadn't told him. I said I didn't know but that I haven't gotten my period in a while. They made me pee in a cup and stuck a test strip in it. Not even two minutes later, a nurse came in and told me I was pregnant. I obviously already knew that, but he was in shock. It was like a switch got flipped. The look in his eyes was so sincere and genuine. When he asked how far along, I was, they sent me down to get an ultrasound. Because I was a couple months away from being eighteen, they didn't need parental consent at the hospital. We got down to ultrasound and I was shocked when they told me I was already twenty-three weeks along. I was even more shocked when they told me I was having a baby girl. The bad pains I was having was just Braxon-Hicks contractions. They sent me home and to my surprise. Everything changed. He was so much nicer to me, kissing my belly every night, cooking me food whenever I had a craving. He had even stopped drinking Everything was perfect. I was actually happy to start a family with him. I still never told your grandmother because I didn't want her to try to take you from me. I was scared considering I was still a minor. I gave birth to you on April twentieth, and you were the most beautiful baby girl I had ever laid my eyes on. You still are absolutely beautiful. A couple weeks after having you, I noticed he started getting back into his old habits of drinking. He hadn't put his hands on me up until you were about two months old. I was holding you and he threw a glass at me because dinner wasn't ready by the time he got home. That was when I knew I didn't want you to be raised in that type of environment. While he was at work one day, I packed up all your stuff and walked to your grandmothers. She opened the door and was surprised when she saw me with a baby. I explained to her that I could not and would not keep you in an abusive household and asked if she could please take you in. I was planning on running away somewhere else where he couldn't find me, but I didn't want to struggle to give you everything you deserved. Your grandmother agreed with no questions asked. I knew he would never go to her house looking for you. I went back home that day to gather my things and left before he got home. I hitchhiked and caught rides miles and miles away where I knew he couldn't find me. I had gotten a job as a dishwasher in a little restaurant so I could get back on my feet. Years later, I went back to the house I grew up in only to find out your grandmother had moved you to a different town. I can't say I blame her. She was doing everything she could think to do to protect you and keep you out of harm's way." She paused for a minute and nodded her head towards me, letting me know it was my turn to speak.