Eremika:When The Time Is Right

7.Suppression

~Start of summer break~
TW SH
*Mikasa pov*

It was awkward between Eren and I for the first couple of days.He avoided eye contact with me at all costs and it broke my heart.When we weren't friends it was easy to run away as I neve got to see him but he fricking lives with me.

Even if it was just for one night, I did miss his warm embrace but he doesn't realize what being with me is.It will cause me hell and him heartbreak.Im a mess as it ig and I don't want to mess him up.
Whenever I tried to hang out with Eren and his friends,I always put him in a tough spot.
It was either me or his friends.He struggled but I guess me being 'stubborn' helped him choose easier.He never tried to stop me or try to text me after.He just left me.

I had to accept it.I allowed my feelings to get the better if me now we are both hurt.I have to let go of him even if it tortures me.

The more I see him, breakfast,lunch,dinner,the more gloomy he is seeing my face.It breaks my heart that I put him through this,but at the same time It hurts that he doesn't know why we had this friendship split and he's so caught up in his own world he doesn't know.

Time pass- 2 weeks.

9pm:

I live to organise my time and this is the time where I have time to my self and you know let loose.The shower is so peaceful,it's like rain is pouring on you and no-one can disturb you and really think to yourself.

All I think about is Eren,he doesn't know what he did wrong which makes me so mad.Its been two years and he still believes I was being petty and stubborn.

I want to be with him and if he didn't hurt me and not leave me for his stupid friends maybe I would've been with him.The there's Hitch,she would not let me go.Its like the whole world doesn't want me to be with him.Hes so perfect I don't want to mess him up.He can move on and live a better life without being tied down to me.Im a burden to him.As these thoughts fill my brain,my arm reaches for the razor in my drawer and as the words fill my head the blade only hits deeper and deeper.I can't stop.Its all true.Whats the point of being here if all I love is gone and leaving me?

My eyes being to close slowly and before I know it I black out

Eren POV:
Hitch was planning a party and she can throw a party,plus it can really help get my mind off Mikasa.She was so stubborn.Whatever.As I'm heading to my room,I heat a this from the bathroom.I knock and ask if she's ok.No response.
I knock again.No response.

"MIKASA GET OUT I NEED TO PISS"I scream,hoping she can hear it.

No response.The time was running late.I was going to leave her but something didn't add up.Why wasn't she answering?
I hear the water running so she must be in the shower.
I pound on the door and there's still no sign of her opening it.

This was strange.I break down the door and see her blacked out on the floor with water and blood around her.

Oh my.

I pick her up and turn off the water.I carry her too my room and luckily She's still breathing.
Even though she was possibly dying,I knew she would beat my ass if she found that I saw her naked,and carried her,so I brought one of my hoodies and put her in it.I couldn't help but notice the cuts in her arms how could she do this to herself.

Judging by the way she looked ,it seemed she only blacked out for at least a few seconds.I hugged her close to me,my arms around her waist,hoping she would wake up.

I felt movement around her and she suddenly rose up.She looked bewildered buy I didn't care because she was awake and alive.I hugged her so tight.

"Mikasa don't ever do that again"
I tell her in a stern voice.

I feel her arms clasp around me and all I want to do is kiss her and tell her how much I love her but I know what happened last time.

"Well I should get going"

I felt like I had crossed the boundaries and her expression wasn't readable.She instead nodded and looked out the window

"Bye" I say then slowly walk out the room."and take care of yourself please"

~After the party~

*3rd person POV*

Eren came home feeling exhausted.He took if his shirt and fell flat in his bed, sleeping instantly.
Mikasa on the other hand had a hard time falling asleep,she craved his touch and feeling it a few hours ago made her feel content.How he held her without a care in the world made her feel so special,like someone appreciated her.

As she was going down to get a glass of water she passed Erens room,he was sleeping soundly,like a prince,she laughed at him drooling on the bed.She took a picture, laughing at the thought of making fun of him.
For a moment,she wanted him.

She lay down next to him and stroked his hair.She felt at ease just being in his presence.She could never let Eren know.she so wanted him to be her friend again,so here she could just do it discreetly.
As each minute passed,her eyes began to grow tried,falling and falling until she was asleep