𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

24 | He's Close

The night was warm and the sky was dark. The bright stars and the big moon shines down on us as we lay in the flower field that accidentally became a special place for the two of us.

I raise my hand to cover the moon with my thumb and I close one of my eyes to see it disappear.

We lay there in silence, something that seemed to happen more often—like words didn't need to be said, just as long as we were in each other presence.

The past few weeks have been weird. The way we acted towards each other and mostly how I tried to deny how much he affected me.

All these years it was easy for me to suppress these feelings that I so greatly wanted to ignore, I fucked up that night. Did I regret it? No, but I wish I had.

I wish I had because at least I'll know that it was all just lust and tension that built throughout the years but it wasn't.

I kissed him at the party that night and at first, I could have blown it off and said it was because of the stupid game we decided to play that night but it was my choice to let him follow me outside after and it was also my fault that I initiated it.

How could I not? The way he looked at me that night made it all so tempting. After the kiss, his eyes were on me and I know this because mine was on him. He followed me outside but it wasn't unusual for us to wander off together—nobody suspected a thing, why? Because we were best friends.

The look in his eyes held so much hunger like he was starving to taste me. I played with him—teased him because I wanted to know how long it would take him to make the first move. I waited but it never came so I said "Fuck it" and I kissed him. My best friend.

After that night our parents thought we got into a fight because we didn't talk to each other for a week. Maybe it would have been best if they had left it as that but they didn't, they planned a dinner and this forced us to talk and that led to other things I don't regret.

Now as we lay here, I hear his low breathing as he watches the night sky with his beautiful big eyes. Almost like it was his first time seeing it, but it wasn't. We came here almost every weekend, at first it was to get away and fuck around where nobody can find us but now it's more to escape the world we so badly wanted to run away from.

I turn my head to look at him more and he seemed to feel my eyes on him as he looks at me. His face stayed neutral, staring at me with no emotion. It was his eyes that said it all, the way they sparkled and lit up.

I wanted to speak up, about something—I didn't know what but I felt like I had to say something but nothing came to mind. I just stared into his eyes and he did mine.

"Why do you make me feel like this?" I whisper.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm floating" I sounded dumb but I couldn't really find a reason to care. This was when he finally put a soft smile on his face "Also like I'm gonna be sick".

He turned confused before he chuckles "Butterflies?" He questioned.

Butterflies? I wasn't sure, I never really felt like this around someone—all I know is I feel them around him and I didn't know how to feel about it.

"I guess"

He looks over my face and his face goes back to showing nothing as he sits up, my eyebrows pull together at his action. I sit up and noticed him grabbing his things and stuffing his phone in his pocket.