A Warm Place

XIX Mother and Daughter

After looking high and low for Tsubaki, I finally found her loitering somewhere I wouldn't expect. I normally wouldn't think of searching here, so I'm really glad that I happened to pass by this area. While thinking that we must be linked by fate, I approach her stealthily.

"Tsubaki, fou-nd ya."

"hh?! Hinata-san?"

When I call out to her, she vigorously turns around, looking surprised.

"What are you doing in this kind of place?"

"Rumi-san told me in secret before.... This is where Mom's precious person lays asleep. I visited this cemetery, thinking that I might be able to find Dad somewhere."

"I see."

I quietly stand next to Tsubaki. I thought that she might actually run away from me, so I feel a bit relieved to know that's not the case.

"I don't know Dad's name, so I have no way to find him. But, when I think that he's here somewhere in this cemetery, I manage to forget about my loneliness."

"Tsubaki..."

She's convinced that her mother has abandoned her. I can tell from her eyes that she feels so lonely, and sad. It pains me to look at her current state, and I really want to do something for her. But, nothing comes to mind. Powerless as I am, I can only stand next to her.

I believe nothing I say will get through to her, since I'm not her mother. The only one who can make her smile from the bottom of her heart is none other than her mother. I covertly use my phone to send an email about this location to that person.... Now, the only thing to do is to hope that she will arrive soon.

"I'm, all alone now."
"......That's not true."
"It's all right. I already, know it full well."
"Nope- you don't get it."

"........."

"At the very least, I'm here with you."

"hh!"

"Just kidding."

Feeling embarrassed, I make a wry smile. Tsubaki, on the other hand, gazes at me in astonishment.

"Hinata-san."

She grasps the hem of my clothes firmly, as she looks at me with moist eyes. With a hint of sadness in her pupils, her ephemeral eyes look so beautiful. It feels as if I'm getting sucked in as I gaze at those lovely eyes. My heart starts beating faster.

Hey, what am I thinking about? Ahem, I force a cough to dispel the mysterious emotion in my chest. I search for a topic to talk about, but the words that leave my mouth with ease are out of my own expectation.

"Say, what do you think happens to someone when they die?"

"Eh?"

She looks dumbfounded when she hears my abrupt question. That's a really dark question. What am I to say when I'm the one asking, though. I wonder if my mouth runs off by itself due to the atmosphere in the cemetery, or maybe there's some other reason. I think I should have talked about something more cheerful, but it's too late for that. Even so, Tsubaki ponders about it earnestly for a while before giving out an answer that's very much like her.

"Umm, they either go to heaven or hell, I think?"
"Hmm- I wonder."

When a person dies, does the soul go somewhere? There are various speculations from different countries and sects. Only the deceased would know the answer, but the dead tell no tales.

When I died, I didn't reach heaven or hell. Instead, I immediately dwell as a new life in the womb of a different mother, with my past memories intact. I don't know how it goes for the others. Unlike me, maybe some people go to heaven or hell. Maybe they return to the netherworld, or to svarga. At the end of the day, even after I died, I don't know the details of what happens after death.