A Warm Place

XXVIII Reminiscence -Her Last Wish-

I'm meeting Hiori today like usual. So, I'm treading through the forest behind the mansion to reach our designated garden. Since I'm the only person here, the place is quiet. She would usually arrive earlier than me. Although, there are many times when she's not feeling well, so I end up coming earlier more often now. Thinking to wait for her, I take a seat on the root of a big tree.

It would be bad for her and her baby if she gets too tired. Although, when I suggested for us to meet up less often, she shook her head in refusal. According to her, while excessive exercises are harmful, failing to exercise is also bad for her body. I don't have much knowledge about that, and thinking that I might need to learn ahead, I went to the bookstore to browse a few pregnancy books. Although, an acquaintance spotted me, and she had a strange misunderstanding. It was a disaster.

"Phew..."

I expel a sigh, and I look up to the sky. A warm, gentle breeze brushes against my cheek.

"......"

I think back to the time when she told me about the matter that had been ailing her. Just the other day, with a frightened look on her face, she confessed to me about what she had been hiding. At that time, I was aghast, my head went blank, and my mind stopped running for a while. But when I finally managed to comprehend her words, grief, anger, and self-loathing spring forth within me.

That was the first time I ever hated someone so much. I was surprised that there existed a dark and violent emotion, swirling inside me. There was a man who had driven Hiori to a corner, bringing her unhappiness, and I despised myself for not being able to do anything for her, for not even realizing it. I felt sick from the emotions that are stuffing my chest. But, I realized that she was the one who had it the worst, so I desperately endured it in.

After hearing everything from her, I thought of confronting the man in question directly, but she stopped me. It seemed that she didn't want me to meet him at all. With blood gathering in my head, I was going to shake her off. However, the sight of Hiori desperately trying to restrain me makes me abandon that thought, reluctantly.

'I beg you. Don't tell a soul about this. Don't do anything, either.'

When she pleaded me so vehemently, I couldn't say anything back. I had no idea what else I could do to my swirling emotions, I didn't know how to save the girl in front of me, I knew nothing at all. In the end, I could only hug Hiori in silence.

--I was vexed. I was so vexed, so sad, so anxious. It felt truly, truly bitter, and I believed nothing else could be worse than that. But surely, the girl in my arms was the one who took the brunt of it all; that thought rent me apart. Why did she have to suffer like that? What wrong did she ever do?

...It seems that her parents don't know about it, which means that the only ones who know are Hiori, the man called Kashima, and me. I told her that she should inform her parents at least, but she refused. Although I had known that she was on bad terms with her parents, I didn't realize that the ravine between them was so deep. I don't know anything about her...... The realization hits me hard, whether I like it or not.

And, what do we do with her pregnancy? Hiori's told me that she didn't want to give birth to her baby, which I think is actually the best choice. Hiori can't be called an adult yet; she's still a child. And most importantly, she didn't conceive the baby with someone she loves... she did not get pregnant because of her own choice.

But, her baby is innocent. Even though the blood of that detestable person flows within its body, that has nothing to do with anything. That's why, even though I'm going out of line, I want her to bear her child. I understand that I'm just being selfish. Giving birth to a child, and raising them-I can't even imagine how arduous they are. I know, it's because I never had to raise a child that I can be so naive.