A Warm Place

XXIV A Warm Place

"I see... That's what happened..."

When I finished telling Hiori about what had happened 16 years ago, the side that she didn't know about, she muttered those words. Her bitter expression probably revealed her feelings of guilt and regret among other things. After making her show that kind of face, I was at a loss of words, and I could only keep silent.

Now, we're going back home at a leisure pace while talking to each other. We could've continued our conversation there, but when I received a mail from Saki saying, 'You're super late. Dinner. Ready,' we decided to return home for the time being. Quite some time has passed since I left, so I guess everyone is getting worried.

"Tsubaki."
"Hm?"

She calls me using my [past name] in a stern voice. I look up at the crimson evening sky, and I make a sound in response.

"It was all... my fault that you died... wasn't it?
"Eh? That's not true, though?"

"It is true!!"

She suddenly shouts while denying my words, which makes me look towards her in surprise. There's a clouded expression on her face, as she stares into my eyes.

"I got you involved in my personal matter, even though it should have had nothing to do with you. It's all because I was weak, behaving like a spoiled child to you...!"
"Don't say that it has nothing to do with me. It makes feel so lonely."
"But!!"
"After all, we have connection to each other, right?"
"........."

I won't let Hiori say that we have nothing to do with each other. I won't let her see our encounter, the time that we spent together go away 'as if they never happened'.

"We had always been together, right?"
"...Yes."

Even now, they remain vivid in my memories.

We played together. We took a nap, we studied, we went for a walk, we chatted, we did many things together. Even after I reincarnated, my precious memories with Hiori are still with me. Hiori is my childhood friend, as well as my best friend. Nah, I think of her as someone more special. I don't know how to name a relationship that goes deeper than a best friend... although, she is as important as my family. That's why, when she says that I have nothing to do with it, it makes me sad.

I grab one of her cold hands, and I grasp it tightly to warm her up. It's already spring, but it still gets chilly when it gets dark. From her hands, I can tell that Hiori is feeling tense. How adorable she is.

"I died because of my own fault. If only I had handled it better, everything wouldn't have turned out that way."

Like an idiot, I thoughtlessly jumped out back then. Bad luck struck, and that was how it had to turn out. I was so pathetic. Instead of trying to stop that person, I could've gone to Hiori first and escape somewhere. There must have been many other options to take. I was too desperate back then. My judgement was clouded, and I couldn't think calmly. Although, I don't regret what I did at that time. I think it's fortunate that I managed to protect Hiori in the end.

"Still, I believe... I don't have the right to stay with you..."
"Aah, geez! Hiori!"
"W-what...?"

Startled, her eyes become round. Then, I give her a gentle smile.

"It's true that I died back then. But, I don't intend to blame anyone for that."

What I have to blame, is nothing but my own foolishness.

That's why, there's no need for Hiori to feel guilty at all. That's not what I wish from her.

"I've already lived the past sixteen years as a different person. Our ages have become so far apart. But... even so, I want to stay with you, Hiori... just like back then."
"Tsubaki..."
"Nope, I'm no longer Tsubaki. After all, you already have [Tsubaki] with you, right?"