A Warm Place

XXI Shadowing Feelings

"Uh... Uuh."

I fell over and grazed my knee. It hurts. Unable to bear the pain, my tears start to flow.

Drip, drip. Ignoring my feelings, the tears spilling from my eyes are soaking the back of the person who's carrying me.

"Rumi, does it hurt?"
"It hurts so muuch... hic"
"I know it hurts, but bear it for just a bit longer. We'll reach home soon."

Still carrying me on a piggyback, my sister slightly turns around and shows me a gentle smile. When I see her smiling face, it feels as if the pain is decreasing a little. I wipe the tears that have gathered around my eyes, and I tightly grasp the clothes around her back. Then, I lean on her soft, warm back before closing my eyes.

"Thank you, Onee-chan."
"Yup."

My sister has always been kind.

When I feel lonely, she will stay next to me and smile.
When I feel hungry, she will make me delicious sweets.
When I fall over, she will help me and carry me like this.

She sleeps all the time, and is slovenly with time... but I'm proud of my Onee-chan.

"I'll make something when we get home. What do you want to eat, Rumi?"
"R-really?! You know, um, that! I want to eat pancakes! The cocoa flavored one!"
"Do we have cocoa powder, though...? Well, I just need to buy some if there's none. Yosh, I'm gonna make some pancakes."
"Yaay!"

The pancakes that my sister makes are just sweet enough. They're delicious. Although she's made other kinds of sweets for me, I like pancakes the most. With my head filled with my favorite pancake, I've totally forgotten about the pain in my knee. I want to reach home faster and eat the pancake, but I also don't want to get down from my sister's pleasant back. Wanting to relish it more, I put my arms around my sister's neck and push my body closer.

"Fufu, aren't you a spoiled one, Rumi?"
"Muu."

My sister's teasing laugh irritates me, so I swing my legs a bit to kick her. Since I am on her back, I can feel the impact of my own kicks.

"T-that hurts! Gee, I'm gonna leave you here, you know?"
"No way."

I refuse to be lowered and cling my arms tighter. I know that my kind sister won't leave me for real, though.

"Uweh?! Hey, Rumi. You're, choking me!"

I think I put too much strength. My sister lets out a pained voice, so I loosen my arms. Then, my sister breathes out, maybe out of relief.

"Onee-chan, you can't say bad things like that."
"......Rumi, you're the one who started it by kicking me."
"Onee-chan laughed at me first!"
"Okay, okay, you're right. I'm the one in the wrong. Please forgive me, Rumi-sama."
"Muu, you're not being serious~"
"I said I'm sorry. I'm apologizing for real, you know."

My anger decreases from hearing my sister's troubled voice,

"Then, I forgive you."
"Thank you for your benevolence."

My sister stops for a moment to fix my position on her back before she starts walking again. No matter how small I am, I'm sure that it's difficult to keep carrying me on a piggyback. But, my sister is never the one to complain that I'm heavy, or that she's tired.

I'm always spoiled by her kindness, and I hate my weak self. I want to grow stronger, but I always end up depending on her. I'm still a spoiled crybaby no matter how much time has passed. But one day, I'm sure one day, she will praise me for being a strong girl. Yes, I want to become a reliable adult just like my elder sister.

"Rumi, we've arrived."
"Onee-chan! Hurry, I want to eat pancakes."
"Don't rush, don't rush. You've forgotten about the graze on your knee."
"Ah."
"Your knee gets to be treated first. I'm going to make the pancakes later, so bear with me for now."
"Muu."