A Warm Place

Extra III

The Happiness Written on Her Palm ＊3

The sun has submerged into the horizon, and here I am, walking alone in the night street.

"Maybe she's already home."

I talked with Saki for quite a long time, so it's gotten late by the time I left. I had run all the way here, I didn't see her on the way, even though her house is already nearby.

"...I guess I just have to deliver it to her house."

To tell the truth, I've been avoiding that place. If I come to visit at this hour, Dad and Mom are bound to be home. It's not that I don't want to go, but there's this complex feeling in my chest. It's like something is telling me to stop. I thought I had sorted out my feelings, but I guess it's a matter that can't be solved so simply. It's frustrating how I can't control my own emotions. It's really bothersome to deal with.

Even so, I can't just pull back here. After all, I have to return her wallet.

"Alright."

I clench my hands to encourage myself, and I resume walking towards the familiar house where I once lived. It's already close by, yet it feels so far away. Time seems to be moving slowly as I walk. What should I say if Mom answers the intercom when I ring the bell... What kind of face should I make? All these questions fill my head.

It should've been only a few minutes, but it feels as if an hour has already passed. My heart is pounding like crazy, and I feel a scraping pain in my stomach... There's no way I can manage to speak properly like this.

However, my former house is getting closer and closer. In fact, it's just around the corner. I clench my hands again, which are sweaty due to my nervousness. I swallow the spit that is collecting in my mouth as I walk onward.

I just have to turn around the next corner, and I will arrive. But, suddenly...

'Hh!!'

"...?"

I can hear a muffled voice. It's like someone is trying to shout, only to result in a small yelp. It sounds as though someone is in trouble and is asking for help, and it alarms me greatly. But, I can't see anyone around. I wonder if it's just my anxious mind playing tricks on me, so I decide to pay it no mind. However...

'Help--'

"?!"

This time, I'm sure I heard it. It's not just my imagination. Someone's really asking for help.

I immediately head to the direction where I heard the voice, but my feet abruptly stop in their tracks.

[Although it makes me happy that you were there to protect me, you can't be putting yourself in harm's way. Please.]

"........."

What Rumi said to me, as well as her desperate face, flashes in my mind. At that time, she must have been thinking about her sister, about [me] who died because I acted recklessly.

"...hh."

I have to go, but my body isn't moving, as if shackled by the past. If my careless actions wind up like 'that time'--my legs freeze upon the fear that I might repeat what can't be undone. I'm scared that I might lose everything again, I'm afraid that I might make everyone sad again.

But, it doesn't mean that I can just ignore someone in need.

(It seems that I've grown timid......)

The past me would have jumped in without thinking. After losing my life once, it seems that I've grown more collected and prudent in these 16 years. As if in exchange, I've lost some of my recklessness. I wonder if this is what becoming an adult means.