Surviving

Chapter nine

I stand up as Michonne returns. "Can I go see him?" I ask already walking towards the stairs. "Yeah. Go on." she answers walking to Rick. "Is he okay?" I hear Rick ask as I walk into the room Carl is in. He is laying on the bed motionless. I walk to the side of the bed and grab Carl's hand shakily. He's really cold. I look down at the floor. If I didn't try to kill myself he probably wouldn't be laying here. I didn't think he was going to stab himself. I thought he would just. I don't know what I thought he would do. I grip his hand tighter and feel Carl's fingers move slightly. I look at him. I can't see his face because of how dark it is. His hands and fingers start twitching. He starts making noises that don't sound normal. He's not speaking but growling. I realize that he's not alive. He's dead. He's one of them. I drop to the floor and scoot back as tears start streaming down my face. He falls off the bed. He begins crawling across the floor with his arms stretched out trying to grab me. He keeps growling. I go to grab my knife but I feel nothing. I left it downstairs. Crap. I fumble around on the floor and feel something sharp. I grab it and get ready to defend myself. I try to kill him. I stare at the shadow heading for me and think about what it used to be. "No. No. No. No. No. NO! NO! NO! NO! I CAN'T DO IT!  I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T KILL YOU!" I scream at what I once knew as Carl. Rick and Michonne must of heard me because they are now bursting through the door. "Ashlyn." I hears Rick's voice fro the corner of the room. "I can't do it." I say looking at him with tears fall down my cheeks. "Ashlyn." I hear Carl groan. I start laughing because he's not dead. He's still alive. Rick and Michonne walk out and close the door. I lay on the floor with Carl and stroke his hair. His heat warms me. I feel his breath on my face. It comforts me because it lets me know he is still alive. I gently shake him. I hear his scratchy voice reply, "Ashlyn?". "I'm right here Carl." I reply taking his face in my hands. "Do you want to get back in the bed?" I ask taking his hat off and putting it on the table. I reach my hand down to help him up off the floor.  "Yeah." he replies grabbing my hand. I pull him up and into my arms. He removes his shirt and falls onto the bed pulling me with him. I fall next to him. He pulls my face to his and kisses me. His lips are so soft I don't want this kiss to end. He pulls away from my face. He soon pulls me back into another kiss. He doesn't pull away this time and i'm glad he didn't. Our bodies fit together like they were made for each other. We lay like this for the rest of the night. He holds me tight in his arms. I fit my face in his neck and fall asleep. I want to live in this moment forever.