Surviving

chapter eleven

"I have to ask you something." rick says looking at me. "Yes?" I ask timidly. "Do you like Carl?' he asks looking ahead. "Yeah I mean he's a good kid I just don't want to disrespect you. If you don't want me to like him I'll stop. It just won't be easy." I explain quickly. "Ashlyn you're a good kid. I don't mind that you and Carl are dating. Or whatever you two are but I just don't want you to get pregnant. We can't have another baby in this group. I don't want you to end up like me and my wife. She got pregnant I distanced myself from her. She had the baby and died. When that man attacked the prison walkers got through the gates and. And they got Judith, Carl's baby sister." he says trying to hold back the tears. "Mr. Grimes I'm so sorry." I say hugging him. He embraces me for a second and lets go. "We have to keep going." he says pointing ahead. "Yeah." I say looking down. We reach a store and go in. I have my knife in my hand. Ready. We walk around and grab supplies we might need. I grab all the candy they have thinking maybe it could help us get in touch with the world before if we just sit down together, eat candy, and just talk. I move on to the next section of the store and grab some food. I grab some water. I walk back around to Rick. He is now sitting on the floor crying softly. I drop my bag next to him an sit down. "I know it hurts Rick. Pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it." I say putting my hand on his shoulder softly. "You just have to push it all down and save it for a time you are able to cry. When you loose Carl you can sit down and cry." I say standing up. Rick looks up at me. "BUT RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T GET TO CRY BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE SOMEONE TO HOLD ON TO! YOU STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO BE YOUR HOPE! I HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING!" I say collapsing to the floor. I sit and cry. I have nothing left. " i have nothing. nothing." I say through my tears. "Ashlyn that's not true. You have Carl. You have Carl and you have me. You have Michonne. I know we can't replace your real family but we will try our best." he says holding me in his arms. We finally collect ourselves and head back. On the way back we count the we got. "I got 10." rick says closing his bag. "I got 25. I win." I say smiling. We get back to the house to see Carl and Michonne running at us. They reach us and turn us in the opposite direction. We walk along the railroad tracks seeing who can stay balanced the longest. All four of us. Even Rick. "Guess what I got." I say turning towards Carl and Michonne. "What?" they both reply like two-year olds. I open my bag and reveal the candy bars. "Ohhh." michonne squeals grabbing one. We reach a map. I look around and see a electrical box with writing on it. The box says: "Glenn go to Terminus -Maggie". "Guys we have to go to Terminus. Maggie and whoever she was with are going. It's not everyone but it's somebody we can trust." I say pointing to the box.