Writes of Courage

Chapter 1: Being A Woman

I believe I speak for a vast majority of women when I say that we are scared. Within our fear lies power and fire because we refuse to back up and stand down. We refuse to cower and give up without a fight. Every day we wake up to new cases of murder, rape or one of us reported missing – we already know how that ends. We step out into the world wondering if it might be our last. We have since become hunted prey, an endangered species. Each time I must leave home I invite God to safeguard me and save me from the hands of men who find it fit for a woman to die unprovoked. Along with that I have to carry a weapon for protection and ensure that I am in the most flexible and comfortable clothes that will make it easy for me to run for my life if the situation calls for it. These are the harsh realities we are forced to face and live under. However, regardless of everything happening to and around us, I would not take anything away from being a woman.

For me, identifying as a female is without a doubt, the greatest power I'll ever possess. I was given the opportunity to dream and wish for a life of opulence because of the women who defied odds and became pioneers. You take a look at them and realize that it is possible, I too can get to a place where I call myself my own boss and create a new cycle of success for my descendance. Often people warn about how we shouldn't look at other people's lives and envy them because they do not show us the reality of things and we are being sold dreams. I say there is nothing wrong with a little bit of inspiration. What happens behind the scenes is their business, all I need is a reminder and a nudge in the right direction that 'it is possible kid'. What's even better is when women support and empower one another.  It's like, 'power, meet power'.

The evolution of a woman alone is inspirational. We moved from not being heard, confined by stereotypes and being defined according to someone's opinion to being the girls that we know we are. There was a time where we believed in fixed and conceptualized ideas of beauty. How certain skin shades, body shapes and sizes were not considered to be beautiful. Our minds were colonized because for some reason whoever came up with all those stereotypes actually believed that we could be tamed. This led to a chain of discrimination, where the ones considered as beautiful could be representatives of certain brands or products that were expected to be used by all women. But now, how do you expect someone to use something that says nothing about them and to them, that makes them feel excluded and unworthy? That's how a revolution of self-loving women started – by just wanting representation. No matter how hard you try to box in a woman's mindset she is always going to find a way out, color-in the inside of that box and make it her own. We're badass like that.

Throughout the years, within fighting against stereotypes and discrimination, the new definition of beauty was born. Not only did everything that was viewed as ugly and turned into an insecurity gain the necessary respect it deserved, but the woman's mind was introduced as true beauty. The world today does not revolve around the outside appearance of a woman anymore. I feel like we grow more and more into the idea that physical beauty is a liability that fades with time. Questions such as 'what happens when you lose your looks? What then?' have become topics that bring the young and the old into confabulation. It is no secret that there are still particular jobs or roles in society or certain industries that are still reserved for women who look a certain way – probably considered to be 'prettier' than the rest. Needless to say, the beauty of the mind is the true asset here.

For the longest time I've always known that I will not rely on my looks to get me anywhere in life. Amongst the woman who were misrepresented or not represented at all, were those that had doors shut in their faces because something about how they looked was not good enough for a particular job. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that all 'good-looking' women who have bagged jobs in their lifetime received them because they were not deserving, however there were some that may have fit the case. This is also not just centered around getting jobs. Pretty much the overall treatment of society towards women who don't fit the set criteria of what a beautiful woman should look like. In most cases, it is only when a woman starts speaking in revelation of her intellect and leaving jaws hanging, that the people she's in the room with start recognizing her presence and acknowledging her majesty and magic. Looks are used to judge and overlook women. My stance is that if you find yourself in a position where you are made to question how you look and feel about yourself, walk away.