Writes of Courage

Chapter 5: Dreams and Goals

Something that I have always found difficulty in wrapping my head around was the concept of dreaming or having dreams, just because of how it always made me feel. How is it that I can just close my eyes and see my entire future ahead of me? Nope, it's not imagination. It's far more powerful than that. It gives a kick, it makes every day worth living and sure keeps the hope on its feet, breaking and shaking at its knees as it would be. Life can be distasteful at times. You give it your all and every single time you get knocked down, but regardless, you keep on trying because there is something greater than those closed doors, that lives within.

The beauty of it is that we all have a free pass at this golden opportunity of having dreams. We are all worthy of being whoever or whatever we want in this life. It does not matter who says what to you and about you or how many times you've been written off and certified as 'nothing'. It is of no regard how the world perceives you. You deserve the world that lives in your head all day, that you see every time you close your eyes. The only thing that stands between you and that life is taking action and fighting towards them. It is however logically impossible to have dreams without any goals in place. The two co-exist like hand in glove. You can dream as far and wide as you please, but you are obliged to have plans in motion on how you intend to make those dreams a reality. That is where having goals comes in. Goals are like arrows we keep shooting at a target. You miss some and you successfully hit others. They direct us to those important bullseyes. We can pace ourselves and keep track of our progress by setting goals. Having a clear plan of execution on how to get to where you aspire to be.

We are so fortunate to be now living in an age where we get to exist in the world digitally. We are so exposed to the world in a way that opens us up and forces us to want more. We have been introduced to the world so that we can want it, and want to conquer it. I see it all as one big stage with space for every single one of us to be whomever we want to be and to say and do everything we want. There are no fences, no bounds, nothing. It all lies in how much space on the world stage you want. It's always going to be there waiting for you to own it. There's never a need for you to feel like you're running out of time or that someone out there is going to be better than you. Believe in yourself and your dreams. There's only one of you for a reason. Believe in your magic and take your time. We do things abruptly because we are in some sort of a race with the rest of the world, and we do not allow ourselves the opportunity to reach our highest potential. If no one is in a race with you, then who are you in race with? It's important to focus strictly on yourself and work hard to prove to yourself that you actually can!

The greatest disadvantage you could ever put yourself through is to compare yourself to other people, or measure your dreams, level of ambition and success against that of others – first step of getting off track. You focus so much on what other people are doing that you get completely lost and stray from your vision. That's why we find people who are never happy for other people's success. They are busy focused on how better than them someone else is doing, instead of how well they could do if they just stopped tormenting their souls and disrupting their auras with things that have absolutely nothing to do with them. You do not know how far that person has come for you to be bitter over their success. Even if you did, it has nothing to do with you. Focus on yourself and choose to be a better person.

Having dreams and setting goals is way more than just being a visionary with a plan for the future. We grow throughout this journey and ultimately become better versions of ourselves.  Through the stumbling blocks we encounter, we acquire strength, we learn perseverance, commitment, dedication and the will to fight till the wire for what we believe in. We become principled individuals that deserve their piece of the cake – heck, even the whole bakery! Challenges are a natural part of life and from just being dedicated and committed to making it work, it becomes a no-brainer that we become inspired to push harder. You hit a brick wall and all you can think about is how to get it out of your way. Either you tear it down brick by brick or you go over or around it, so long as you make it to the other side. Resilience, responsibility and a powerful fighting spirit are born out of this. No matter what, you keep going because you have to feed this hunger in your soul for a life that you know you deserve.

An incredibly important aspect of having dreams is protecting them. Your dreams and aspirations are your vision that you need to safeguard. Not everyone in your life or circle will be happy for you, or be proud of your headspace. They will try to bring you down for whatever reasons known to them, projecting their fears and insecurities onto you. Refuse to be a victim of people with idle minds. Be proud of yourself and believe in yourself. It is not mandatory to share your dreams and plans with anyone, unless you know that they are going to help you on your journey towards living them out, even if it's just moral support throughout the journey. Because this is your journey, you get to choose your path and the people you want on the ride with you. It is no secret that the human race bears its fair share of toxicity. People constantly telling you that you can't do it and substantiating their doubt or jealousy with examples of other people who could not make it. A person's journey that seems similar to yours does not automatically translate into or make it yours. Life generally, is one big coincidence. Chances are you probably share a similar life story with millions of people on this planet. It does not mean that the story ends the same for all of you. Each person's narrative is authentic to them, like their fingerprint. Ultimately the decision is none but yours. You are the only one who decides on whether you make it. The odds set against you are just trials to test your drive, passion and dedication to your dream. Look at it all as an obstacle course that you are ready and willing to get through no matter what.

We dream for success. Success is like birth. Finally bringing to life a conception and watching it grow. You can't help but feel gratified and fulfilled because you did that. The whole idea behind having dreams is to become successful. Mind you, success is not solely about making money as dreams aren't just career maps – anything that your heart desires to achieve. Success is the part that requires your all for it play out. It requires the planning and implementation. It is scary because it seems like it is not guaranteed. It actually is, it just requires the whole ingredients, recipe, method and effort. Sometimes when something does not succeed there would probably be something missing. One may say "I put in the hours, the dedication and everything I could to make it work but it didn't happen". All those are useless without the glue that has to tie it all and hold everything together – the missing link. That would be faith – believing. As long as you have doubts and don't believe in any of it, it will not happen. How do you expect others to believe in what you are giving them when you don't believe in it yourself?

Believing in the power and beauty of your dreams starts with believing in yourself. If you decide that you want to do something and believe with your all that you can acquire it; it is already yours. Believe in yourself and your dreams so hard that nothing can stop you from reaching them. There comes a time where everything is at a halt and nothing seems to be coming together or even working out. A time when you will be most tried, where your strength, resilience and hunger for your light to shine will be put to the test. This, my friend is where you don't crack. This is when you harness your inner fighter and bout to stay alive and keep strong enough to see the next day where you'll be better than you were the day before. The mind is the element for one's functionality for every aspect of your life. How it's able to control the basic functions of your body is exactly how it rules over everything else in your life. Everything starts and ends there. If you believe in your dream with nothing left behind, it will ultimately become a reality. Make your mind your greatest companion and it will work with you. Hold courage and train your mind that no matter what stands in your way, you have already conquered. Remind yourself every day that the keys to your dreams are forever in your possession. Dreams don't die, just our faith in them. In everything that you do, walk fearlessly towards that custom door that fits your keys.

It's okay to fall, and not have things come together the first few times. It's understandable that you want to see yourself on a particular avenue, at a certain time. What is not okay is surrendering and forsaking all hope and the life you promised yourself. I strongly hold the belief that giving up is not influenced by our own shortfalls and disappointment in failing. I believe that it is encouraged by looking at how much others are progressing and how far behind we are getting by working on something that's not coming together. Love yourself enough to honour your spirit in such a way that you don't shy away from calling yourself out for doing that to yourself. Trust the process and keep moving forward even when things are falling apart. Adjust and adapt. Adopt a positive headspace that reminds you that it's okay to be weary and disappointed and feel the need to pause and process everything as it would be in that moment. After taking it all in, go back to the drawing board and figure out where to from there. And at the end of the day, don't beat yourself up for it not having worked out on that particular day. Rather be kind enough to yourself to acknowledge your effort and the fact that you tried. That's all you could give and sooner or later it will prove to have been enough. If we focused solely on ourselves and our progress, it would not be so arduous to get to that place. You are not perfect, just human.

Personally, dreaming means I can finally step into my truest self and show the world exactly what I am capable of. Being a young, black girl – light-skinned even, I'm often overlooked. People see me, but also at the same time they don't see me. They look at me and come to a conclusion of their own that influences how they think it's okay to address and regard me. For some ignorance-influenced reason, how I look marks me as naïve. The tone that people often use or how they treat me I find not only disrespectful, but beyond appalling. For me it's not about proving myself, but calling all of them out on their ill behaviour. And I know that I am not the only one. Sometimes actions send out the message far better than words ever could, because they easily fall on deaf ears that couldn't care any less to heed. An action on the other hand, you have no choice but to witness greatness and history being made. In my mother tongue, Northern Sotho, I would say 'ke kgalemela lenyatso', which roughly translated, means reprimanding the disrespect. If your words fail, your actions will command it. So, by virtue of my dreams, the world is mine to conquer. To show others who have the misfortune of suffering a similar fate of being overlooked and misjudged that "it's okay, let them, I'll show them".

Dreams have the power of speaking life into hopeless situations. They restore hope and birth courage – the courage to fly, soar and to never look down. They belong to anyone from the deepest slums in the world, that seem impossible to get out of. The most violent warzones and the worst possible situations one can imagine. They are our gifts to the world. Our dreams aren't coincidental. We become organically drawn to the people we wish to be because they already live within us, just not yet unleashed. They are closely affiliated with our purpose – what we were born to be or do. See, it can't be impossible to grow into who you already are. You just have to hold on and keep the faith. Always remember that you are in charge.


[REFLECTION: It's possible. Just believe and work tirelessly. It may not happen now, but eventually. It's already yours, it's just a matter of reaching hard enough to get to it.]