Writes of Courage

Chapter 3: Fear, Strength and Courage

It is indisputably true that so much can be found in solitude, including answers to deep introspective questions. One of my discoveries was that fear has been the biggest contributing factor to my lack of enjoying life, as young as I am. The constant worrying about things I have no control over. Allowing the negative 'what if's' to consume me and steal my joy. Coming from what seems to be the abyss and persistently feeling like I am stuck, has had a way of taking over and creating a thick fog that often obscured my vision. Nevertheless, I have taught myself to fight for myself and all that I deserve, despite the fear encouraged by the odds stacked before me. Fear to me has since become nothing less than an everyday challenge to push myself beyond any limit because my capabilities are limitless. I have nothing to be afraid off – I am strong, brave and brilliant.

Fear in layman' s terms means one is afraid of something. There is an unsettling discomfort that hovers over you that is hindering you from doing, experiencing, facing or moving on from something, usually because we do not know what the other side of it looks like. I figure it stems itself from two places: the unknown and experience. It is dressed different, for different people, fighting different battles. Some are afraid of loss, failure, reality, judgement, rejection, etc. If you look closely enough, you will realize that in most instances fear is a defense mechanism against pain. Fear strolls parallel to care. Because we are emotional beings and we care, we do not wish to find ourselves in a place where those things that mean so much to us are compromised. We hold our loved ones near and dear and fear losing them. The thought of pouring yourself into something and have it not materialize how you foresaw it, or the thought of never amounting to anything ties painfully tight knots in one's stomach. We tend to fear being our true selves because we want to protect those parts of ourselves that are sensitive and genuine, in case they aren't welcomed by the world. We fear putting ourselves out there because 'what if' we are not wanted, what if we are not appreciated, what if we are not accepted. We are afraid of facing things for what they really are because we do not know what awaits on the other side – where that will place you and what it will mean to you.

Fear consists of a lot of running and is very good at guising itself. It's quite the convincer too. See, fear is not always a terrible thing. It can be a catalyst that encourages and promotes progress in you, if you are able to spot and harness it. You can be scared but still want to go on. You can be afraid of loss and rejection, but still want to heal and love again, despite the pain. You may be afraid of stepping into new frontiers, unknown to you what the future will look like. But because you wish to grow and evolve, you do it anyway. Hence I see it as a challenge to want to propel myself towards every ounce of greatness I know I'm worthy of.

As aforementioned, fear sources itself from the unknown and experience. When constantly watered and attended to, it could become dangerous. The extent of the control that fear has over you is in your hands. You have the final say over your decisions and actions, and nothing else. You either allow it to affect you, or you don't. There are going to be little voices of negativity that will try to make you doubt yourself, your choices and actions. Consistently try to pull you back and sit you down. Keep you in your region of comfort where you do not grow at all. If you allow it, fear will hinder you from living. Pain, failures, disappointment and rejection are a significant part of life, they exist for a reason. It is through them that we grow and evolve. We are abstract beings; we were made to feel – it's what makes life worth living. Loving after having lost, being hurt or rejected; trying again after failing; all that isn't taking a risk, but simply moving with the flow of life.

Fear isn't tangible, it is abstract. You cannot see it, yet you can feel it. It targets your mind and seeks to challenge it. Where you as an individual, are concerned, it works towards testing your faith and just how much you believe in yourself. How hungry and passionate you are about your dreams and goals. Your determination and drive are shaken. Needless to say, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You do not have to allow fear of the unknown to paralyze you and encumber your evolution. Remember how, prior to being where you are now, you had no idea what this part of your life would look like? Well, look at you now. All you have to do is keep up the momentum. Also, if you are taking another swing at a failed opportunity, and the circumstances feel and appear to be similar as before, just know that they are not. The time is different and you are still the same person, just better now. Befriend your mind and feed it positivity. Your thoughts really manifest your reality. Develop seeds of grace and prosperity within yourself – it will show when it is time to plant and harvest. Go all in and leave no room for doubt or disappointment.

It is said that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You are stronger and more courageous than you know. That is why tests are thrown your way, to show you just how much you are, otherwise, how else would you know. Strength and courage come out to tango in the presence of fear. This is you choosing to fight for everything that you know you deserve. You forsake everything that is trying to hold you down and you fight for yourself. Strength and courage look different in this context. The strength that comes from within is called perseverance – holding on and fighting for yourself in the face of fear that is trying to block your progress and growth. Strength and courage are innate. We are born strong and brave – we did come into a world we knew nothing of, that takes some serious guts. But that was just the easy part, navigating life in its mystery is the true test of time.

Being alone with one's thoughts and having a listen to what they have to say is a beautiful moment with self. Retain the preciousness and essence of the experience by not dwelling on those thoughts till they turn poisonous. It is healthy to be aware of everything that you are feeling, the good and the bad. From that point, an equally corresponding healthy approach to dealing with your feelings, is facing them head on and finding ways to keep cultivating the positivity in you. Another important point to keep note of, is that, in all this you are human. You are a feeler. Feelings are energy bound and transmitted. You are bound to absorb and get absorbed – it is typical human attribute.

Being consumed by negativity and living in darkness is dreadful. That space of mind further induces the fear, and in those moments that is all you believe; that you will never heal, the pain will persist, history will find itself before your feet again, you will not succeed or you do not deserve to be happy. Life imprisonment, where you die alive. Here's the thing, at the end of the day, we will always have limited control over our lives and the incidents thereof, whether you believe in fate or you don't. Things will always turn out as they are supposed to. What you are not going to do to yourself is to allow the trauma to become your reality and have your precious existence revolve around it. Pain and scars are reminders that we are capable of loving and we are worthy of being loved, we care and have lived for something. You simply cannot live life backwards, on what was and what could have been. You deserve joy and peace in the moment, even if it's not the best moment to be alive for. Free yourself and live. Fear is none but a contender of the mind, a foe of imagination.

Face everything head on and be willing to emerge the victor. Be bold enough to fight for your peace and freedom of the mind. Walk into the fire life has thrown you into and become one with it – that... is courage. Holding on to the light and not giving in to the fears is strength. It took a vast toll on you and left you not the same, yet here you are. You are sufficiently strong and brave to do whatever you want and triumph over every hurdle placed before you. Wear your scars with pride because they are a part of the journey that has gotten you to where you are now, standing tall as a battle warrior. Just as I had previously mentioned our limited control over life's events, we don't choose the outcome, it chooses us. Whichever face the coin lands on, even if it wasn't your chosen one, you ought to keep moving. It is not always going to be soft and sweet, and you should be ready to stay afloat on days when it feels like you are sinking and are going to drown. Hold yourself with grace and keep going. Everything in life is coded with a message or a lesson. You win each time, even with the laps of the race that feel like you have lost. You learn, you grown, you evolve. Nobody wants to struggle or feel pain, but it is inevitable. It's up to you how you deal with it, but I highly recommend cultivating positivity to keep moving forward.

Walk into every situation in life with an 'I have already made it through to the other side' attitude. Again, it is normal to be scared because we are human beings who feel. It is okay to hurt. But, it is not okay to allow yourself to drown. Feel and heal. Open yourself up to the world in order to live a fulfilling life. With others, the pain doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it. That is, within their many faces, what courage and strength look like. Wearing your pain and battle scars like the warrior you are.


[REFLECTION: You have nothing to be scared of because the strength you possess is beyond what you can imagine – you are already on the other side of what you're going through, just believe. You hold the keys to your freedom. Open the doors to the light and do not look back.]